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Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. v. 1
Many individuals often change their working place which has a lot of a number of reliable arguments. Clearly, the reasons for this are job satisfaction, expected monthly salary, the field of interest, working environment and many more. Certain community asserts that it is more convenient to have a constant paid position for a whole life. However, others oppose this statement that the employee should gradually switch working environment within a period of time. This essay will discuss, why diversification in the long-term is necessary for the overall growth of an organisation and a workman in below the following paragraph. To commence with, there are a number of valid reasons for working with the same organisation throughout life. Firstly, wage-earner gets tremendous benefits from their company. Whereas, if staff-member stays at the same place for a long time, they would win the trust of the management from their loyalty towards works. As a result, the worker would be provided promotion, money, bonus, Family-Life insurance, travel trips and many other considerable benefits. For example, the majority of Multinational Company in India provides an expensive yearly bonus to the older and the experienced labour to encourage their performance and enhance their productivity. Therefore, a stable working atmosphere is better for the overall growth of employees. Secondly, workmen can reside at the same place throughout life. As staff have a stable job in a company, he or she can live with their family without a spontaneous change in the living area. On the other hand, everlasting the same type of work for wage earners can be feeling bored day after day that would directly be affected by industrial productivity. It is a human tendency to feel the boredom of constant working. Moreover, if people are continuously doing the equal activity they may gradually lead to disrelish towards work. For these reasons, workers cannot invest their 100% efficiency in task completion. Owing to this, the organisation would face a lack of productivity. hence, people should diverse job field with regard to their interest. In conclusion, pursuing a lifelong job in the same organisation has numerous merits of monetary growth, but changes in life are necessary for enthusiastic livelihood. Personally, I believe that employee should change their ways after getting various experience in any particular industry or company.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
place which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
a number of reliable arguments.
Clearly
, the reasons for this are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
monthly salary, the field of interest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Certain community asserts that it is more convenient to have a constant paid position for a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, others oppose this statement that the employee should
gradually
switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment within a period of time. This essay will discuss, why diversification in the long-term is necessary for the
overall
growth of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and a workman in below the following paragraph.

To commence with, there are a number of valid reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, wage-earner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
tremendous benefits from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Whereas, if staff-member stays at the same place for a long time, they would win the trust of the management from their loyalty towards works.
As a result
, the worker would
be provided
promotion, money, bonus, Family-Life insurance, travel trips and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other considerable benefits.
For example
, the majority of Multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
in India provides an expensive yearly bonus to the older and the experienced
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
to encourage their performance and enhance their productivity.
Therefore
, a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
atmosphere is better for the
overall
growth of employees.

Secondly
, workmen can reside at the same place throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As staff have a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, he or she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their family without a spontaneous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the living area.

On the other hand
, everlasting the same type of work for wage earners can be feeling bored day after day that would
directly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by industrial productivity. It is a human tendency to feel the boredom of constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
continuously
doing the equal activity they may
gradually
lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
disrelish
towards work. For these reasons, workers cannot invest their 100% efficiency in task completion. Owing to this, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
would face a lack of productivity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The word 'diverse' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
field with regard to their interest.

In conclusion
, pursuing a lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
has numerous merits of monetary growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are necessary for enthusiastic livelihood.
Personally
, I believe that employee should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their ways after getting various experience in any particular industry or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
382 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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