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Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants of canteens. v.3

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants of canteens. v. 3
According to some, cooking and eating indoors is considered to be more beneficial to everyone, including the individuals and the family, than outdoor eating. In my opinion, I strongly agree that people better eat at home rather than eating in restaurants as it will benefit them on physiological, psychological as well as financial levels. One advantage to eating home-made food is that it results in less health problems. At present, for instance, a large percentage of young people around the world suffer from obesity and cardiovascular diseases. This is mainly attributed to atherosclerosis which is caused by the tremendous amount of saturated fats and sugars in fast food offered by restaurants and canteens. Moreover, no one would care to provide sanitary food more than our mothers. The food they cook at home would be, therefore, more hygienic. In addition, being unhealthy has an overall negative impact on the person’s mood and affect. Another point to consider is the financial aspect of indoor versus outdoor eating. Traditional food prepared at home is more affordable than eating out. In other words, paying for a meal that satisfies one person at a restaurant is more costly than purchasing the ingredients to cook a meal at home for a larger number of individuals. This would not only help cut down on expenses, but also allow allocating money to other important necessities. In conclusion, it is vital that people be more encouraged to eat at home. Although it is acceptable to eat once or twice a month at a restaurant as a means of routine breaking, it shouldn’t be the standard way of life.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
indoors
is considered
to be more beneficial to everyone, including the individuals and the family, than outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
better eat at home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
as it will benefit them on physiological, psychological
as well
as financial levels.

One advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is that it results in less health problems. At present,
for instance
, a large percentage of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world suffer from obesity and cardiovascular diseases. This is
mainly
attributed to atherosclerosis which
is caused
by the tremendous amount of saturated fats and sugars in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
and canteens.
Moreover
, no one would care to provide sanitary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more than our mothers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they cook at home would be,
therefore
, more hygienic.
In addition
, being unhealthy has an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the person’s mood and affect.

Another point to consider is the financial aspect of indoor versus outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prepared at home is more affordable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
out.
In other words
, paying for a meal that satisfies one person at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
is more costly than purchasing the ingredients to cook a meal at home for a larger number of individuals. This would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on expenses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
allocating money to other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
necessities.

In conclusion
, it is vital that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
be more encouraged to eat at home. Although it is acceptable to eat once or twice a month at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
as a means of routine breaking, it shouldn’t be the standard way of life.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants of canteens. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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