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Some people believe that it is better to grow up children in cities rather than in the countryside. Discuss both the view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that it is better to grow up children in cities rather than in the countryside. v. 2
Bringing up offspring with best facilities has been a challenge for the parents since ancient time. Some believe that villages are preferable place for rearing children; however, others strongly oppose the idea. Anyway, to my consideration city is the better place where young people can have better schooling, highly trained teachers, high-tech amusement facilities and the better medical services at the same time. Country life has many charms to help children' s development. First of all, the food from surrounding agro- based farms are definitely fresher than the one available in the city. For instance, preservative free food along with pollution free air boost up the physical growth of the toddlers to the teenagers live in rural area. Additionally, open fields with natural scenic beauty provide them enough space to play that in turn make them not only healthy but also creative. On the other hand, city life offers schools with modern equipment and proficient teachers. For example, most of the city schools are facilitated with multimedia classroom which are rare in the schools situated in the rural area. It implies that, these high- tech devices and modern teaching methodologies help their cognitive skills to be developed and prepare them for a prosperous life. Last but not the least, better medical facilities add a different dimension to the urban life as without such vital services living could not only be risky but also life threatening. Finally, although, bringing up a child in countryside has lots of pros, cities can make them adapted for future technological era by providing better education Therefore, I strongly believe that city should be the preferable place to the parents for the optimum growth and development of their children.
Bringing up offspring
with best
facilities has been a challenge for the parents since ancient time.
Some
believe that villages are preferable place for rearing children;
however
, others
strongly
oppose the
idea
. Anyway, to my consideration city is the
better
place where young
people
can have
better
schooling,
highly
trained teachers, high-tech amusement facilities and the
better
medical services at the same time.

Country
life
has
many
charms to
help
children&
#039; s development.
First of all
, the food from surrounding
agro
- based farms are definitely fresher than the one available in the city.
For instance
, preservative free food along with pollution free air boost up the physical growth of the toddlers to the
teenagers
live
in rural area.
Additionally
, open fields with natural scenic beauty provide them
enough
space to play that in turn
make
them not
only
healthy
but
also
creative.

On the other hand
, city
life
offers schools with modern equipment and proficient teachers.
For example
, most of the city schools
are facilitated
with multimedia classroom which are rare in the schools situated in the rural area. It implies that, these high- tech devices and modern teaching methodologies
help
their cognitive
skills
to
be developed
and prepare them for a prosperous
life
. Last
but
not the least,
better
medical facilities
add
a
different
dimension to the urban
life
as without such vital services living could not
only
be risky
but
also
life
threatening.

Finally
, although, bringing up a child in countryside has lots of pros,
cities
can
make
them adapted for future technological era by providing
better
education
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that city should be the preferable place to the parents for the optimum growth and development of their children.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to grow up children in cities rather than in the countryside. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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