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Some people believe that it is better to grow up children in cities rather than in the countryside. Discuss both the view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is better to grow up children in cities rather than in the countryside. v. 1
It is thought by some individuals that leisure time should be spent sleeping while others are of the opinion that, activities such as games and reading can enhance the man psychologically during free hours. In my opinion, I believe that the mind should be occupied with productive activities, as this results in greater efficiency. The ability to engage the one self in games such as word puzzles and reading of journals during a free period is essential. As this results in benefits such as mental clarity, improved reasoning, focus and apt decision making and ultimately, increased productivity. For instance, a friend of mine, who started playing the game of chess in his prime, improved over time, won the chess medal and became more efficient in other spheres of life. Hence, engaging one mentally in periods with less programs brings about increased efficiency and effectiveness. On the other hand, psychological rest during free period is golden, as this is associated with mental and physical health. It was documented by the World Health Organisation that 90 to 95% of workers who take a periodic break are psychologically sound. As this free occasion is very restful and prepares them for the tasks ahead. For example, my dad occasionally travels out to the UK, a break he takes to bare his heart off work, academics and games, returns back much relaxed and healthier. Thus, the mind can be left bare occasionally. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that engaging the brain in activities at leisure break is of utmost importance as it increases the output. Nevertheless, physical rest should be done sparingly.
It is
thought
by
some
individuals that leisure time should
be spent
sleeping while others are of the opinion that, activities such as
games
and reading can enhance the
man
psychologically
during
free
hours.

In my opinion, I believe that the mind should
be occupied
with productive activities, as this results in greater efficiency.

The ability to engage the one self in
games
such as word puzzles and reading of journals during a
free
period is essential. As this results in benefits such as mental clarity,
improved
reasoning, focus and apt
decision making
and
ultimately
, increased productivity.
For instance
, a friend of mine, who
started
playing the game of chess in his prime,
improved
over time, won the chess medal and became more efficient in other spheres of life.
Hence
, engaging one mentally in periods with
less
programs brings about increased efficiency and effectiveness.

On the other hand
, psychological rest during
free
period is golden, as this
is associated
with mental and physical health. It
was documented
by the World Health
Organisation
that 90 to 95% of workers who take a periodic break are
psychologically
sound. As this
free
occasion is
very
restful and prepares them for the tasks ahead.
For example
, my dad
occasionally
travels out to the UK, a break he takes to bare his heart off work, academics and
games
,
returns back
much relaxed and healthier.
Thus
, the mind can be
left
bare
occasionally
.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that engaging the brain in activities at leisure break is of utmost importance as it increases the output.
Nevertheless
, physical rest should
be done
sparingly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to grow up children in cities rather than in the countryside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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