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Some people believe that it is better to get advice from old people compared to young people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v.2

Some people believe that it is better to get advice from old people compared to young people. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 2
It is commonly believed by many that elderly people can provide best advice because of their rich experience. However, others tend to oppose this idea and believe young minds being aware of modern technologies can offer better advice. This essay agrees with the former opinion and will discuss both viewpoints in detail. On the one side, a majority of people hold a firm belief that people should approach old people for seeking any advice. This is because, old people have spent their entire life in learning new things and making experiences, which essentially is beneficial in giving the best adviceadvice. Moreover, old peoples suggestions are reliable and long term. The reason being, such people consider all the aspects of a problem, before reaching at any conclusion and therefore, offers a wise advice. To exemplify, according to the recent survey conducted by the Times of India, the elderly people’s advice is considered as a word of wisdom in many successful families. On the other hand, young people being aware of modern tools and technologies are a best advisor according to many. In other words, youngsters have a wide range of online resources available to deal with the modern problems, whereas old people having a lack of awareness of current society, would not be able to provide modern solution. For instance, most of the school graduates ask their teachers or professors for the career guidance, instead of parents because parents have limited knowledge of the modern employment system and can provide inappropriate advice. To conclude, although some people consider youngsters can offer better advice due to their understanding of modern society. However, I believe elderly people with wide experience can suggest best advice.
It is
commonly
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their rich experience.
However
, others tend to oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe young minds being aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies can offer better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the former opinion and will discuss both viewpoints in detail.

On the one side, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a firm belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for seeking any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have spent their entire life in learning new things and making experiences, which
essentially
is beneficial in giving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
Possible spelling mistake found.
adviceadvice
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
suggestions are reliable and long term. The reason being, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider all the aspects of a problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching at any conclusion and
therefore
, offers a wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
. To exemplify, according to the recent survey conducted by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
is considered
as a word of wisdom in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successful families.

On the other hand
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
tools and technologies are
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
advisor according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
In other words
, youngsters have a wide range of online resources available to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
problems, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having a lack of awareness of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society, would not be able to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
solution.
For instance
, most of the school graduates ask their teachers or professors for the career guidance,
instead
of parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents have limited knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
employment system and can provide inappropriate advice.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider youngsters can offer better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
due to their understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society.
However
, I believe elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with wide experience can suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to get advice from old people compared to young people. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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