Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is a good idea for young people to take a year off to travel or work between high school and university. Others say it is better for students to go straight on to university after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people believe that it is a good idea for young people to take a year off to travel or work between high school and university. Others say it is better for students to go straight on to university after graduating from high school. 2
Nowadays the concept of a ‘gap year’ has widely accepted in many countries. Some people believe that taking a long break before entering a university is better than go straight to the university without a gap year. Considering the pros and cons of the gap year, I firmly believe taking a gap year is more beneficial for young students. On the one hand, having a year-long break can give several negative effects to the students, by not planning their gap year properly, a majority of people are likely to spend the time and focus on just relieving their stress, which had been accumulated during their intensive study in high school. This is because some might think getting free time is a reward for their studies. Moreover, not all potential employers consider the gap year as an essential break, some of them might think it is the waste of the time. On the other hand, some argue that once the gap year is well-planned, it can change one’s life. First of all, taking a break from those intensive academical periods can refreshen one’s body and soul. In addition, during the gap year, one can travel around the world or work as a part-timer, which they can learn the real world and broaden their view, By pressing a pause in their busy life and searching what they really want to do is an imperative experience. For instance, one of my friends, who took a gap year and travel the world, find out his interest in art museums and choose his career to be a curator. To sum up, while it is apparent that the gap year is likely to be spent pointlessly without a plan, it is undeniable that the long break before the university can be used in finding their interest and learning a life lesson.
Nowadays the concept of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year’
has
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that taking a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering a university is better than go straight to the university without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Considering the pros and cons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I
firmly
believe taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is more beneficial for young students.

On the one hand, having a year-long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
can give several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects to the students, by not planning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
properly
, a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are likely to spend the time and focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
relieving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, which had
been accumulated
during their intensive study in high school. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
getting free time is a reward for their studies.
Moreover
, not all potential employers consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the waste of the time.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is well-planned, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one’s life.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from those intensive academical periods can
Possible spelling mistake found.
refreshen
one’s body and soul.
In addition
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, one can travel around the world or work as a part-timer, which they can learn the real world and broaden their view, By pressing a pause in their busy life and searching what they
really
want to do is an imperative experience.
For instance
, one of my friends, who took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and travel the world, find out his interest in art museums and choose his career to be a curator.

To sum up, while it is apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is likely to
be spent
pointlessly
without a plan, it is undeniable that the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the university can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in finding their interest and learning a life lesson.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea for young people to take a year off to travel or work between high school and university. Others say it is better for students to go straight on to university after graduating from high school. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts