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Some people believe that individuals cannot improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that individuals cannot improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. v. 1
It is believed that only governments and well established organizations can bring about improvements in the society, while other individuals do nothing. I vehemently disagree with this opinion. To begin, it is important that every individual in the society assumes a vital role in other to bring about positive changes in the community. First, maintaining a clean environment should involve every person residing in the community which include employing appropriate methods of waste disposal at all times. For instance, using the street waste bin, rather than dropping dirt on the floor, as well as neatly packing and dropping refuse outside each house for easy collection by the sanitary officers, instead of dumping it on the street. These help to keep the environment tidy, free from rodents and flies as well as prevent infectious diseases such as gastroenteritis and cholera. Also, individuals should make it their duty to be religious with paying their taxes as this will help generate funds which can be used by the government to further develop and improve the standard of the community. Likewise, obeying traffic rules will help reduce road traffic accidents, thereby making the entire vicinity more safe and serene for individuals to live in. In conclusion, I strongly believe that members of the society need to take part in ensuring improvement in the country. However, the government and big infrastructures also have important roles such as the enforcement of rules and regulations, and should strictly allotting fines and punishment to defaulters.
It
is believed
that
only
governments
and well established organizations can bring about improvements in the society, while other
individuals
do nothing. I
vehemently
disagree with this opinion.

To
begin
, it is
important
that every
individual
in the society assumes a vital role in other to bring about
positive
changes
in the community.
First
, maintaining a clean environment should involve every person residing in the community which include employing appropriate methods of waste disposal at all times.
For instance
, using the street waste bin,
rather
than dropping dirt on the floor,
as well
as
neatly
packing and dropping refuse outside each
house
for easy collection by the sanitary officers,
instead
of dumping it on the street. These
help
to
keep
the environment tidy, free from rodents and flies
as well
as
prevent
infectious diseases such as gastroenteritis and cholera.

Also
,
individuals
should
make
it their duty to be religious with paying their taxes as this will
help
generate funds which can be
used
by the
government
to
further
develop and
improve
the standard of the community.
Likewise
, obeying traffic
rules
will
help
reduce
road traffic accidents, thereby making the entire vicinity more safe and serene for
individuals
to
live
in.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that members of the society need to
take part
in ensuring improvement in the country.
However
, the
government
and
big
infrastructures
also
have
important
roles such as the enforcement of
rules
and regulations, and should
strictly
allotting
fines and punishment to defaulters.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that individuals cannot improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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