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Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part education Discuss both these views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words v.6

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part education 6
Benefits and drawbacks of having sports as a part of school curriculum is a highly debatable topic, some people put forward the argument of increased expenditure of valuable time and resources. On the other hand people would come up with potential benefits of playing sports in school. Both views should be taken into account to frame an unbiased curriculum which provides wholesome education to the students. Generally, some individuals would find sports as an unnecessary part of student education. The modern world is more focused on grades of a student rather than his/her individuality. Educational institutions promises to give their best in education and extra curricular activites, when it fails to do so people get frustated. Some Parents, even schools and universities are those who claims sports as a waste of time and constantly pushing other teachers to have more time for teaching maths or science and giving the least priority to sports. Well, the fundamental issue is in the people’s perplexed mindset. Sports is equally important, similar to any other field of education. Majority of sports make the students physically active, which is highly crucial for any growing children or young adults. Sports have a plethora of benefits, such as boosting the basal metabolic rate, release of stress relieving hormones, develops teamwork and coordination. Some people who love and feel passionate about sports end up making it as their carrier and become successful and famous personalities. To conclude, Education should be assorted with both studies as well as sports. Neglecting either of it, will fail to provide the wholesome experience of schooling. Too much emphasis on sports is not needed, whereas, completely abandoning it is more dramatic and might be destructive in many ways.
Benefits and drawbacks of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a part of school curriculum is a
highly
debatable topic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put forward the argument of increased expenditure of valuable time and resources.
On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with potential benefits of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in school. Both views should
be taken
into account to frame an unbiased curriculum which provides wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the students.

Generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals would find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as an unnecessary part of student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The modern world is more focused on grades of a student
rather
than his/her individuality. Educational institutions promises to give their best in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
, when it fails to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
frustated
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Parents, even schools and universities are those who claims
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a waste of time and
constantly
pushing other teachers to have more time for teaching
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
or science and giving the least priority to sports.

Well, the fundamental issue is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perplexed mindset.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, similar to any other field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the students
physically
active, which is
highly
crucial for any growing children or young adults.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
have a plethora of benefits, such as boosting the basal metabolic rate, release of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relieving hormones, develops teamwork and coordination.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and feel passionate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up making it as their carrier and become successful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
should
be assorted
with both studies
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Neglecting either of it, will fail to provide the wholesome experience of schooling. Too much emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is not needed, whereas, completely abandoning it is more dramatic and might be destructive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part education 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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