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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.33

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 33
Parents are considered by many to be solely responsible for the upbringing of their children as a responsible individual of society. Others, however, believe that teachers at the school have a role to play in this regard. In my opinion, both parents and teachers have their own duties to educate children to be an asset for the nation. On the one hand, lap of the mother is considered by many to be the first institution for a child. In other words, children learn their initial lessons of life from their parents. So the parents have to become a role model for them, presenting themselves as an efficient member of the community, respecting and following the laws and performing their duties with honesty and dedication. Children are gullible and would imitate their parents in almost all aspects of their early life. A recent survey, for instance, has shown that most children idealize their mother or father to be the best person to follow. Therefore, it is their first and foremost duty to inculcate all the habits in their young charges, essential for them in future to become a responsible personality. On the other hand, many are of the view that children spend a significant part of the day in schools and consider it a place to learn everything. In this era of materialism, when usually both parents are working, they do not find sufficient time to educate them. Teachers, therefore, have to play their part not only in their academic education, but also in their social and moral personality building. Moreover, in schools, children expose their weaknesses in personality when they interact with others and teachers are usually the first one to recognize and rectify those before the parents. Hence, the role of teachers in their character building cannot be ignored. To conclude, I personally believe that both parents and teachers have to play their part and augment each other to make their young ones a productive member of the community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to be
solely
responsible for the upbringing of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as a responsible individual of society. Others,
however
, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at the school have a role to play in this regard. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
duties to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be an asset for the nation.

On the one hand, lap of the mother
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to be the
first
institution for a child. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn their initial lessons of life from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
become a role model for them, presenting themselves as an efficient member of the community, respecting and following the laws and performing their duties with honesty and dedication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are gullible and would imitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in almost all aspects of their early life. A recent survey,
for instance
, has shown that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
idealize their mother or father to be the best person to follow.
Therefore
, it is their
first
and foremost duty to inculcate all the habits in their young charges, essential for them in future to become a responsible personality.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a significant part of the day in schools and consider it a place to learn everything. In this era of materialism, when
usually
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working, they do not find sufficient time to educate them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
play their part not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their academic education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in their social and moral personality building.
Moreover
, in schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
expose their weaknesses in personality when they interact with others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
usually
the
first
one to recognize and rectify those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Hence
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in their character building cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

To conclude
, I
personally
believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
play their part and augment each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their young ones a productive member of the community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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