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Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve tis balance. what are th eproblems of this? Suggest some solutions v.2

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve tis balance. what are th eproblems of this? Suggest some solutions v. 2
At present, myriads of people endeavour to bring congruity between office jobs and individual activities, which is often disturbed for not maintaining a proper schedule of life. These issues of human begins should be resolved by giving work equilibrium in life. To begin with, it is quite unfortunate that several individuals cannot make a balance between their companies' activities and home activities or personal-related tasks. This is because people do not have any perfect time schedule so that they are unable to maintain their works. Since for being a responsible worker, he, invariably, maintains office hours, which leads him to a mechanical spirit, where there is no personal life. This attitude results in stress-related problem, as they do not even try to make it possible to allocate time for their own, to illustrate, enjoying with relatives, friends, and family in the botanical garden. This causes only for their workaholic attitude, which has become the tendency of society. Thus, for example, in Bangladesh, some parents cannot get timetables for their children for only concentrating on works. To counter this menace, it is an essential for each individual to make a balance between work-life and personal existence. The compelling solution is that they should make a list before starting a day that what they are going to do. In this way, a person will be able to overcome from work-life imbalance. Another factor will have to be in mind that besides, working in the required hours in offices, people need to do physical exercise, and they ought to go to recreational places for refreshing their brain, which consequently, help them to reduce their psychosomatic ailments. Finally, parents, for instance, set their priority first, which could minimize their psychological stress between choosing family and career. In conclusion, these days, the population cannot provide the proper balance between work life and other activities related to personal life, although some of them overcome with this. The reason is that they maintain accurate time for each work and set goals for every personal and professional task to alleviate the problem of the imbalance of working spirit.
At present, myriads of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to bring congruity between office jobs and individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
disturbed for not maintaining a proper schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. These issues of human
You should probably use "begin".
begins
should
be resolved
by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
equilibrium in life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is quite unfortunate that several individuals cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a balance between their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or personal-related tasks. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have any perfect time schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are unable to maintain their works. Since for being a responsible worker, he,
invariably
, maintains office hours, which leads him to a mechanical spirit, where there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This attitude results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related problem, as they do not even try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it possible to allocate time for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, to illustrate, enjoying with relatives, friends, and family in the botanical garden. This causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their workaholic attitude, which has become the tendency of society.
Thus
,
for example
, in Bangladesh,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
timetables for their children for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrating on works.

To counter this menace, it is an essential for each individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a balance between work-life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
existence. The compelling solution is that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting a day that what they are going to do. In this way, a person will be able to overcome from work-life imbalance. Another factor will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be in mind that
besides
, working in the required hours in offices,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to do physical exercise, and they ought to go to recreational places for refreshing their brain, which
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their psychosomatic ailments.
Finally
, parents,
for instance
, set their priority
first
, which could minimize their psychological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
between choosing family and career.

In conclusion
, these days, the population cannot provide the proper balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them overcome with this. The reason is that they maintain accurate time for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and set goals for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and professional task to alleviate the problem of the imbalance of working spirit.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve tis balance. what are th eproblems of this? Suggest some solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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