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Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. v. 1
Some people hold that there is no need for employers to focus on their workers’ dress. It is the quality of work that should be worth attention. However, I claim that both dress and quality of the work should be highlighted. The proponents agree that if regulations are set in a bid to manage employees’ dress or if employees are all required to be dressed in the uniforms, their working enthusiasm may be negatively influenced as they were not given enough freedom to demonstrate their personal styles, they may feel their boss interference too much about their daily working life, thus impact on the quality of the work. In this circumstance, it is employees’ working quality rather than the dress that should be concerned about. However, when we turn to the other side of the argument, there are some points in favor of that the employees’ dress also plays an important role in the operation of the company. First and foremost, some workers are required to dress uniforms because it represents the corporate image, especially in some important occasions where employers had to have face-to-face communication with those workers, uniforms make it easy for customers to identify them. Second, compared with an awful dress, a stylish dress can ensure a pleasant working atmosphere for employees because people are visual animals, thus increasing the working efficiency. In conclusion, I believe that both both employees’ dress and the quality of the work should be concerned about because they are important to the running of the whole company.
Some
people
hold that there is no need for employers to focus on their workers’
dress
. It is the
quality
of
work
that should be worth attention.
However
, I claim that both
dress
and
quality
of the
work
should
be highlighted
.

The proponents
agree
that if regulations
are set
in a bid to manage
employees’
dress
or if
employees
are all required to
be dressed
in the uniforms, their
working
enthusiasm may be
negatively
influenced as they were not
given
enough
freedom to demonstrate their personal styles, they may feel their boss interference too much about their daily
working
life,
thus
impact on the
quality
of the
work
. In this circumstance, it is
employees’
working
quality
rather
than the
dress
that should
be concerned
about.

However
, when we turn to the other side of the argument, there are
some
points in favor of that the
employees’
dress
also
plays an
important
role in the operation of the
company
.
First
and foremost,
some
workers
are required
to
dress
uniforms
because
it represents the corporate image,
especially
in
some
important
occasions where employers had to have face-to-face communication with those workers, uniforms
make
it easy for customers to identify them. Second, compared with an awful
dress
, a stylish
dress
can ensure a pleasant
working
atmosphere for
employees
because
people
are visual animals,
thus
increasing the
working
efficiency.

In conclusion
, I believe that
both both
employees’
dress
and the
quality
of the
work
should
be concerned
about
because
they are
important
to the running of the whole
company
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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