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Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. v. 2
Throughout the history, gifts have had a significant role defining the relationship between individuals. Although type, cost and size of the gift has a tremendous effect on the interpretation of the act, the age of the receiver plays a significant role upon decision. There is a general belief that money is among the most suitable gifts for teenagers due to its properties. However, groups of people do not see monetary handout as a best practice. I strongly agree with the latter. On the one hand, monetary gifts have an extremely versatile functionality. This puts the choice of what do to with it and how to spend it in the recipient's hands. For example, the receiver may choose to accumulate sums of money received from different people, and use it on a mainly expensive item which none of them could afford individually. There might be the features of the item at hand, which are highly customizable and only by deciding by their own the beneficiary would be able to entertain themselves to the highest level. These are some of the reasons which make giving a teenager money as a gift a reasonable choice. On the other hand, some people believe that the spirit of gifting someone is based on giving them something so they would be useful for them, as well as remind them of you. This is what could be observed in souvenirs and other gifting traditions. Depending on the occasion, the gifter tries hard to find something suitable and enjoyable for the receiver. Considering this mindset, giving money would have no sentimental value to the recipient, which in return eliminates the whole purpose. Moreover, the money may be spent unwisely on goods or services which are not beneficial or, on the contrary on something which is required but not enjoyable, thus diminishing its emotional effect. By the way of conclusion, there are vastly different ways of handing over presents to another person. Giving money as gift is somewhat popular in many societies. However, there are groups of people who still argue that money does not have required acceptability of a gift. I believe, although money provides the receiver with a lot of options, it lacks emotional properties of a gift.
Throughout the history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
have had a significant role defining the relationship between individuals. Although type, cost and size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
has a tremendous effect on the interpretation of the act, the age of the receiver plays a significant role upon decision. There is a general belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is among the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
due to its properties.
However
, groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
monetary handout as
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best practice. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter.

On the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
have an
extremely
versatile functionality. This puts the choice of what do to with it and how to spend it in the recipient's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
.
For example
, the receiver may choose to accumulate sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
received from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it on a
mainly
expensive item which none of them could afford
individually
. There might be the features of the item at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, which are
highly
customizable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by deciding by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the beneficiary would be able to entertain themselves to the highest level. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
a reasonable choice.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the spirit of gifting someone
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
them something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would be useful for them,
as well
as remind them of you. This is what could
be observed
in souvenirs and other gifting traditions. Depending on the occasion, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gifter
tries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find something suitable and enjoyable for the receiver. Considering this mindset,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would have no sentimental value to the recipient, which in return eliminates the whole purpose.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
be spent
unwisely
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or services which are not beneficial or,
on the contrary
on something which
is required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not enjoyable,
thus
diminishing its emotional effect.

By the way of conclusion, there are
vastly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of handing over presents to another person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
is somewhat popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies.
However
, there are groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not have required acceptability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
. I believe, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
provides the receiver with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options, it lacks emotional properties of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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