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some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. In what ways are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion? Givereasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. In what ways are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion? Givereasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1
Some people argue that electronic devices such as computers nowadays are not sufficiently useful. Others believe that they should be widely used for different purposes as essential tool. There are more advantages than disadvantages. I firmly believe that computers can affect considerably to improve productivity of human activities. To begin with, a computer becames a crucial equipment in offices day by day. Office applications or documents are made by computer programmes such Word, Excel, PowerPoint which may share its between employees and managers with just a click. Secondly, another main reason why computers should use wisely that we can use it as educational tools. It may be a good opportunity to expand our spectrum. In addition, another vital argument in favour of computers is useful for getting data and news from the internet. On the other hand, there may be some negative impacts on both old and young generations. With the invention of portable computers, smartphones, developing electronic devices, people remain busy with their own items. They use the internet all day long in their room and scarcely take part in outdoor activities. As far as impacts on children are concerned overuse of computers can affect negatively such as health hazards and damaging their eyesight. In conclusion, from my own perspective, although some people claim that modern computer technologies have brought many benefits to human’s life with more negative sides, I strongly believe that it depends on individuals how using their computers whether the utilizing of computers may be positive or negative.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that electronic devices such as computers nowadays are not
sufficiently
useful. Others believe that they should be
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes as essential tool. There are more advantages than disadvantages. I
firmly
believe that computers can affect
considerably
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
productivity of human activities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
becames
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "crucial equipment".
a crucial equipment
in offices day by day. Office applications or documents
are made
by computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such Word, Excel, PowerPoint which may share
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
between employees and managers with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click.

Secondly
, another main reason why computers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
wisely
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as educational tools. It may be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to expand our spectrum.
In addition
, another vital argument in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of computers is useful for getting data and news from the internet.

On the other hand
, there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and young generations. With the invention of portable computers, smartphones, developing electronic devices,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
remain busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
items. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet all day long in their room and
scarcely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in outdoor activities. As far as impacts on children
are concerned
overuse of computers can affect
negatively
such as health hazards and damaging their eyesight.

In conclusion
, from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that modern computer technologies have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to human’s life with more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, I
strongly
believe that it depends on individuals how using their computers whether the utilizing of computers may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. In what ways are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion? Givereasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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