Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v.1

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v. 1
Some people infer that old generation were ecstatic and robust in olden days, as they were physically and socially active, but currently they feel alone and face health issues. This is due to certain key factor, whereas few remedial measures can curb it out. Both the causes and solutions are described further. To begin with, migration of young generation, these days, make aged people feel alone. Since the job opportunities has arised in metros, workers are shifting there for better employment and leading a nuclear family. For example, locals from Assam are shifting to Delhi for job, which fosters the parents to pass their life alone in rural regions. Additionally, modern life style has also impacted their health. As vehicles are extensively utilized by the pentioners, they lack the walking, which could make them prone to health issues. Still, there are several solutions to be eradicate such problems. Firstly, government must encourage employement in pastoral areas. If the adults are getting better working opportunities in their own region, the migration would come at a hault. For instance, development of industries in village can provide employement to citizens, which could hover the shifting to metro cities to stay with thier family members. Secondly, more public places must be developed. Whit increase in garden and recreational centres, the retirees would be stimulated to stay in a health atmosphere to improve their health. In conclusion, old generation is facing loneliness and health issses in present day as compared to olden days because they are living alone and avoiding tansportation. However, this can be curbed out by create work prospects in rural areas and construction recreational areas.
Some
people
infer that
old
generation were ecstatic and robust in olden days, as they were
physically
and
socially
active,
but
currently
they feel
alone
and face
health
issues. This is due to certain key factor, whereas few remedial measures can curb it out. Both the causes and solutions are
described
further
.

To
begin
with, migration of young generation, these days,
make
aged
people
feel
alone
. Since the job opportunities has
arised
in metros, workers are shifting there for better employment and leading a nuclear family.
For example
, locals from Assam are shifting to Delhi for job, which fosters the parents to pass their life
alone
in rural regions.
Additionally
, modern life style has
also
impacted their
health
. As vehicles are
extensively
utilized by the
pentioners
, they lack the walking, which could
make
them prone to
health
issues.

Still
, there are several solutions to be
eradicate
such problems.
Firstly
,
government
must
encourage
employement
in pastoral areas. If the adults are getting better working opportunities in their
own
region, the migration would
come
at a
hault
.
For instance
, development of industries in village can provide
employement
to citizens, which could hover the shifting to metro cities to stay with
thier
family members.
Secondly
, more public places
must
be developed
. Whit increase in garden and recreational
centres
, the retirees would
be stimulated
to stay in a
health
atmosphere to
improve
their health.

In conclusion
,
old
generation is facing loneliness and
health
issses
in present day as compared to olden days
because
they are living
alone
and avoiding
tansportation
.
However
, this can
be curbed
out by create work prospects in rural areas and construction recreational areas.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts