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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experience. v.7

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 7
The role of learning in children’s life is indispensable. It helps them to understand the difference between right and wrong and prepare them for the future. Moreover, if children get teaching while enjoying leisure activities, it would be better. I concur the fact that children’s leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are a complete waste of time. If leisure activities are informative, children will learn effectively and also they will not be indulged in bad habits. Children would learn more and effectively if their habits include coaching. One clear example is that I used to watch TV in my free time in my teen age. On the advice of my parents I started watching informative channels such as Discovery and National Geographic. It helped me to enhance my general knowledge and science. Traditional learning methods result in boredom. On the other hand, children take interest in learning by involving in any physical activity. Therefore, children’s leisure activities which include training helps them to understand their lesson faster and effectively. As bad habits come from bad company of people, it is clear that by involving in healthy and positive activities, children will be saved from bad habits. To illustrate this, a friend of mine joined toastmasters club to go on weekends, which not only developed his presentation skills and boosted his confidence, but also prevented him from the company of his bad friends in which he used to waste a lot of time. It is always beneficial to have habits which teach useful skills and provide knowledge. Hence, by involving in educational, leisure activities, children would be prevented from bad habits. To conclude, children’s leisure activities which include learning, help them to learn faster and it also avoid the bad company. One would admit that children’s habits must enhance improvement otherwise they would be a waste of time. In my opinion, parents should closely upon their children free time activities and guide them to opt activities which would be advantageous for their future time.
The role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
life is indispensable. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to understand the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and prepare them for the future.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
teaching while enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, it would be better. I concur the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educational
otherwise
they are a complete waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are informative,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn
effectively
and
also
they will not
be indulged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.

Children would learn more and
effectively
if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
include coaching. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV in my free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in my
This word is normally spelled as one.
teen age
. On the advice of my parents I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
watching informative channels such as Discovery and National Geographic. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to enhance my general knowledge and science. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
methods result in boredom.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by involving in any physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which include training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to understand their lesson faster and
effectively
.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that by involving in healthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be saved
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. To illustrate this, a friend of mine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
toastmasters club to go on weekends, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
developed his presentation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and boosted his confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
him from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
friends in which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is always beneficial to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
which teach useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and provide knowledge.
Hence
, by involving in educational,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn faster and it
also
Did you mean "avoids"?
avoid
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. One would admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
enhance improvement
otherwise
they would be a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, parents should
closely
upon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and guide them to opt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which would be advantageous for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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