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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v.6

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 6
Nowadays, cities around the world have been seeing the number of local stores being decreased due to a strong trend towards shopping at bigger malls. This essay will explore the reasons for that and explain why this development is actually improving the overall purchasing experience. To start with, the majority of big shopping centres around the country offer a plethora of different brands, big and small, in a variety of departments, such as clothing, sports gear, electronics, and so on. That business model not only amplifies competition between shops, given they are all on the same physical space, just a few steps away from each other, but also force owners of these stores to explore all sorts of strategies to attract consumers' attention. For instance, nowadays it is common to see huge sales events and clearance offers spread throughout the year, in contrast to only on special ocassions, such as Black Friday. As a result, families can get cheaper prices and better products. Another advantage of big malls is that they usually help develop the whole neighbourhood around them. Given the convenience of having all sorts of stores and services being offered at a single place, there is also a tendency for families to look for ways to live closer to these centres. Therefore, local entrepreneurs have the opportunity to open small businesses, such as bakery shops and pharmacies, in the vicinity of these shopping areas. If these big venues did not exist, shoppers would be forced to travel to different city areas, thus reducing the likelihood of discovering all the options available at their disposal. In conclusion, society should not look at the decline of local shops as a negative development, but instead as a consequence of increasing competition and as an opportunity for a more efficient, cheaper and pleasant shopping experience.
Nowadays, cities around the world have been seeing the number of local stores
being decreased
due to a strong trend towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at bigger malls. This essay will explore the reasons for that and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this development is actually improving the
overall
purchasing experience.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
around the country offer a plethora of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, in a variety of departments, such as clothing, sports gear, electronics, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. That business model not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
amplifies competition between shops,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
they are all on the same physical space,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few steps away from each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
force owners of these stores to explore all sorts of strategies to attract consumers' attention.
For instance
, nowadays it is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
huge sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and clearance offers spread throughout the year,
in contrast
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on special
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocassions
, such as Black Friday.
As a result
, families can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cheaper prices and better products.

Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
malls is that they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop the whole
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
around them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the convenience of having all sorts of stores and services
being offered
at a single place, there is
also
a tendency for families to look for ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
closer to these
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Therefore
, local entrepreneurs have the opportunity to open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses, such as bakery shops and pharmacies, in the vicinity of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
areas. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
venues did not exist, shoppers would
be forced
to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city areas,
thus
reducing the likelihood of discovering all the options available at their disposal.

In conclusion
, society should not look at the decline of local shops as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
as a consequence of increasing competition and as an opportunity for a more efficient, cheaper and pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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