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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v.24

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 24
The manner in which children spent their free time varies greatly from one to another. It is argued that pupils should be involved in tasks  which are related to education in this period. However, I believe that utilising spare interval performing physical activities and watching television will help recuperate their health and concentration. To begin with, young people are required to perform body movements for improving their physical abilities. A good illustration for this is the activity planned in the school timetable which always include some periods dedicated to sports. As a result, they are forced to get involved in the activities which require motion resulting in maintaining their fitness level. Thus, it is apparent that doing such exercises will contribute towards the physical development of a child. In addition, continuous focus towards studies can result in the problems related to the concentration. For instance, if a student is asked to perform an educational task in his extra time also, there are chances that he might start feeling frustrated with studies. Instead, if he utilises this span for watching television, he can feel relaxed and thereby, he will be more attentive when he starts learning again. Therefore, it is obvious that such breaks will help them to enhance the attention level. In conclusion, getting engrossed in activities other than education not only helps to improve the health but also fosters the mental fitness. Thus, this clearly debunks the idea that pupils should only perform tasks which aim towards the acquisition of knowledge in order to avoid wasting time. It is expected that parents will be made aware of the advantages of spending free moments doing other tasks for the children in the foreseeable future.
The manner in which children spent their free time varies
greatly
from one to another. It
is argued
that pupils should
be involved
in tasks
 
which
are related
to education in this period.
However
, I believe that
utilising
spare interval performing physical
activities
and watching television will
help
recuperate their health and concentration.

To
begin
with, young
people
are required
to perform body movements for improving their physical abilities. A
good
illustration for this is the
activity
planned in the school timetable which always include
some
periods dedicated to sports.
As a result
, they
are forced
to
get
involved in the
activities
which require motion resulting in maintaining their fitness level.
Thus
, it is apparent that doing such exercises will contribute towards the physical development of a child.

In addition
, continuous focus towards studies can result in the problems related to the concentration.
For instance
, if a student
is asked
to perform an educational
task
in his extra time
also
, there are chances that he might
start
feeling frustrated with studies.
Instead
, if he
utilises
this span for watching television, he can feel relaxed and thereby, he will be more attentive when he
starts
learning again.
Therefore
, it is obvious that such breaks will
help
them to enhance the attention level.

In conclusion
, getting engrossed in
activities
other than education not
only
helps
to
improve
the health
but
also
fosters the mental fitness.
Thus
, this
clearly
debunks the
idea
that pupils should
only
perform
tasks
which aim towards the acquisition of knowledge in order to avoid wasting time. It is
expected
that parents will
be made
aware of the advantages of spending free moments doing other
tasks
for the children in the foreseeable future.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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