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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.15

These days, children’s education takes priority over everything else to their parents. Which is why educational leisure activity is the rallying cry of many parents. However, in my view, leisure hours should be authentically recreational. This is because genuine recreation facilitates children’s overall development. First and foremost, children can learn through play. In particular, they can develop motor and cognitive skills through games and sports they play. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children can be taught by playing, particularly when they are very young and are still improving important cognitive and motor skills. So if parents think that their children will learn only if they study or do serious activities during their free time, it is a misguided idea. Secondly, an authentic recreation like sports can enhance all-round fitness and it helps relieve stress. A good chunk of study discovers that the lack of sports time affects children’s emotional development, resulting in the rise of depression, anxiety and problems of attention. Apart from that, sports improve physical fitness, which in turn decreases the risk of many diseases. Furthermore, sports are good for the body in aiding to enhance children’s immune system. Last but not least, authentic recreational activities boost the learning attitude. By this, I mean that these activities are meant to fun, which in turn stimulates the children’s interest and joy in learning. Many child psychologists suggest that children ought to be allowed to spend quality time in authentic recreational activities. All things considered, it seems reasonable to draw the conclusion that authentic leisure activities are far more important, and not a waste of time. Therefore, parents should indulge children with pleasurable activities that are crucial for their all-round development.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education takes priority over everything else to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Which is why educational leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is the rallying cry of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
However
, in my view, leisure hours should be
authentically
recreational. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
genuine recreation facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
overall
development.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn through play.
In particular
, they can develop motor and cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through games and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
they play. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be taught
by playing,
particularly
when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young and are
still
improving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cognitive and motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they study or do serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it is a misguided
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Secondly
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authentic
recreation like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can enhance all-round fitness and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chunk of study discovers that the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
emotional development, resulting in the rise of depression, anxiety and problems of attention. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
physical fitness, which in turn decreases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the body in aiding to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
immune system. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authentic
recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
boost the learning attitude. By this, I mean that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are meant
to fun, which in turn stimulates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
interest and joy in learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
child psychologists suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authentic
recreational activities.

All things considered, it seems reasonable to draw the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authentic
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, and not a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should indulge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with pleasurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are crucial for their all-round development.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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