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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.12

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? 12
Consumers are favouring the big malls compared to local shops since last decade. In my opinion, there must be a balance between the big shopping centres and small-scale shops. First paragraph demonstrates the pros and cons of small shopping centres and the second paragraph explains about the advantages and disadvantages of large malls. Let us discuss more about this in detail in the following paragraphs. Firstly, little shops have been existing for a long time back and they supply the essential needs of the poor people in general. For instance, the person in a remote village has access to the local shops than big shopping-centres and their daily needs are addressed by the small shops. Furthermore, the price of commodities is cheaper in the minor shops. Apart from this, so many people start their entrepreneurial journey as local businessmen because it is a tiny business. The downside is income generating from the minor shops is not suffice for the survival of the shop owner. On the flip side, big malls are generating more revenue and recruiting young people into jobs, thereby lower the unemployment problem in the local area. In addition to this, the remuneration of the salesmen in these jobs is meagre. Furthermore, big shopping-centres have kept the price in view of rich people in the society. For example, if we take the movie ticket in PVR Mall, Hyderabad, it would cost 500 bucks compared to a local movie theatre. By considering all these factors, one can say that there should be a parity between the large malls and small shops. To summarize, we will encourage the enormous shopping-centres as well as the small shops in a view that both will be beneficial to the society. Also, certain measures should be taken to lessen the prices in the big malls so that they would be available to the common public as well.
Consumers are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
since last decade. In my opinion, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
First
paragraph demonstrates the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and the second paragraph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about the advantages and disadvantages of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us discuss more about this in detail in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have been existing for a long time
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
back and
they supply the essential needs of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in general
.
For instance
, the person in a remote village has access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopping-centres
and their daily needs
are addressed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Furthermore
, the price of commodities is cheaper in the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their entrepreneurial journey as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businessmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a tiny business. The downside is income generating from the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is not
Consider using a past participle here: "sufficed".
suffice
for the survival of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owner.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are generating more revenue and recruiting young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into jobs, thereby lower the unemployment problem in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area.
In addition
to this, the remuneration of the salesmen in these jobs is
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopping-centres
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the price in view of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society.
For example
, if we take the movie ticket in PVR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mall
, Hyderabad, it would cost 500 bucks compared to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. By considering all these factors, one can say that there should be a parity between the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
shops.

To summarize
, we will encourage the enormous
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopping-centres
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in a view that both will be beneficial to the society.
Also
, certain measures should
be taken
to lessen the prices in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they would be available to the common public
as well
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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