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Some people believe that children should spend all of their fee time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments both sides, and say which side you personally support. v.1

Some people believe that children should spend all of their fee time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments both sides, and say which side you personally support. v. 1
Many people suppose that little learners ought to outlay most of their spare time with their family members. However, there are those who think that is ineffective. On the one hand, it may appear advisable for parents to act as role models and to establish ground rules for behaviour by spending free time with their youngsters as much as possible. This allows the children to absorb conventions and codes of conduct, which they could follow themselves, and likely help them leading to an absence of problems such as bullying, truancy, and delinquency later on. Moreover, being with family should reduce the risk of children falling victim to crimes such as abduction or coming under the influence of the negative peer pressure. On the other hand, in a society where many families are dual-income, or that family where one parent’s role as breadwinner means he/she is away from for long periods, it is inevitable that children cannot spend all their time with familytime family. Child-minding and after-school childcare are often used in these cases, and if managed properly, these could be perfectly viable alternatives. Equally, in some cases, it seems that young children could learn a considerable among from their peers and add in adults, and allowing them to play without direct supervision may be a benefit. To conclude, it appears that, while family time is essential for bonding and absorbing patterns of behaviour, there are definite advantages when children are outside the family too. This is provided that they are in a safe, well behaved environment with peers who are themselves reasonable well-brought-up.
Many
people
suppose that
little
learners ought to outlay most of their spare
time
with their
family
members.
However
, there are those who
think
that is
ineffective.

On the one hand, it may appear advisable for parents to act as role models and to establish ground
rules
for
behaviour
by spending free
time
with their youngsters as much as possible. This
allows
the
children
to absorb conventions and codes of conduct, which they could follow themselves, and likely
help
them
leading
to an absence of problems such as bullying, truancy, and delinquency later on.
Moreover
, being with
family
should
reduce
the
risk
of
children
falling victim to crimes such as abduction or coming under the influence of the
negative
peer pressure.

On the other hand
, in a society where
many
families
are dual-income, or that
family
where one parent’s role as breadwinner means he/she is away from for long periods, it is inevitable that
children
cannot spend all their
time
with
familytime
family
. Child-minding and after-school childcare are
often
used
in these cases, and if managed
properly
, these could be
perfectly
viable alternatives.
Equally
, in
some
cases, it seems that young
children
could learn a considerable among from their peers and
add
in adults, and allowing them to play without direct supervision may be a benefit.

To conclude
, it appears that, while
family
time
is essential for bonding and absorbing patterns of
behaviour
, there are
definite
advantages when
children
are outside the
family
too. This
is provided
that they are in a safe,
well behaved
environment with peers who are themselves reasonable well-brought-up.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should spend all of their fee time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments both sides, and say which side you personally support. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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