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Some people believe that charity organizations should be help people wherever they live, others think they should attend their countries only. Discuss both and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that charity organizations should be help people wherever they live, others think they should attend their countries only. 1
The computer technology has made a huge progress over the last few decades. People have different views about whether this would generate a positive or negative effect on people. In my opinion, I am in favour that we should continuously boost scientific development. On the one hand, there are several benefits that computer advancement has brought us. Advocates of promoting the internet popularizing insist that computers invented by human beings seem to be more intelligent because computers are able to process data far more quickly than humans and work out sophisticated problems in plentiful fields. The calculation speed of this kind significantly improves working efficiency, particularly in aerospace and life science research. In addition, computers can operate tasks that are dangerous to humans. For example, people can take advantage of computer-controlled robots to dive into the depth of the ocean that humans cannot enter and to conduct deep-sea exploration, such as collecting ocean specimens, which undoubtedly protects human’s life. On the other hand, opponents hold the view that computers have an adverse impact on people’s live. It is admittedly that computer utilizing has increasingly replaced some jobs that should have been done by labour force. These jobless people, unfortunately, lose a stable source of income. In order to survive, they may take the risk of committing crimes, thus leading to social instability. In conclusion, I still believe that the technological advancement in computers tends to be more beneficial to human beings as long as we can use it appropriately, while there are indeed some negative facts that cannot be avoided.
The computer technology has made
a huge progress
over the last few decades.
People
have
different
views about whether this would generate a
positive
or
negative
effect on
people
. In my opinion, I am in
favour
that we should
continuously
boost scientific development.

On the one hand, there are several benefits that computer advancement has brought us. Advocates of promoting the internet popularizing insist that computers invented by
human
beings seem to be more intelligent
because
computers are able to process data far more
quickly
than
humans
and work out sophisticated problems in plentiful fields. The calculation speed of this kind
significantly
improves
working efficiency,
particularly
in aerospace and life science research.
In addition
, computers can operate tasks that are
dangerous
to
humans
.
For example
,
people
can take advantage of computer-controlled robots to dive into the depth of the ocean that
humans
cannot enter and to conduct deep-sea exploration, such as collecting ocean specimens, which
undoubtedly
protects
human’s
life.

On the other hand
, opponents hold the view that computers have an adverse impact on
people’s
live
. It is
admittedly
that computer utilizing has
increasingly
replaced
some
jobs that should have
been done
by
labour
force. These jobless
people
, unfortunately, lose a stable source of income. In order to survive, they may take the
risk
of committing crimes,
thus
leading to social instability.

In conclusion
, I
still
believe that the technological advancement in computers tends to be more beneficial to
human
beings as long as we can
use
it
appropriately
, while there are
indeed
some
negative
facts that cannot
be avoided
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that charity organizations should be help people wherever they live, others think they should attend their countries only. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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