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Some people believe that all the companies decisions should be decide by the managers, while others think it is better to include employees in decision. Discuss both side and give your opinion? v.1

Some people believe that all the companies decisions should be decide by the managers, while others think it is better to include employees in decision. v. 1
Staff in an organisation plays a vital role. Certain individual think that all the organisations decisions must be taken by the managers, whereas, others believe it is good to consider staff in taking judgment. I completely agree with the former notion of excluding employees in decision making process. On the one hand, People are thinking of giving, the responsibility of the head of the departments in taking the stand on entity issues and I agree with it. Managers are the people who have ability to manage and prove themselves on various occasions and they have required expertise to handle various situations. Placing a responsibility on their shoulder to consider all the available option take a decision related to companies in their interest is the right option. For instance, Google India today is a successful multinational company around the world is because it has qualified department head leading and taking the vital decision for the entire organisation benefit. On the other hand, People believing of considering the workforce of the company in taking a significant decision. Staff is hired to carry out the regular operation of the company and they are not expert in finalizing complicated matter related to the company. But they are part and parcel of the company's growth as without their existence in the organisation there will not be any productivity. Manager are placed above the staff to manage and supervise their regular task. For instance, As per a study, it is concluded that when the workforce is involved in taking active participation of day to day operation the company grew faster then expected. Hence for this reason fewer propose to take labours in the consideration in decision making process. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I strongly support the notion to retaining the power to take decision for the industry as each and every staff from the organisation does not possess the required management skill in taking responsible decision.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Staff
in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
plays a vital role. Certain individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
by the managers, whereas, others believe it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
in taking judgment. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former notion of excluding employees in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are thinking of giving, the responsibility of the head of the departments in taking the stand on entity issues and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it. Managers are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have ability to manage and prove themselves on various
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
occasions and
they have required expertise to handle various situations. Placing a responsibility on their shoulder to consider all the available option take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in their interest is the right option.
For instance
, Google India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is a successful multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
around the world is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has qualified department head leading and taking the vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for the entire
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
benefit.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believing of considering the workforce of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in taking a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Staff
is hired
to carry out the regular operation of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
they are not expert in finalizing complicated matter related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they are part and parcel of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's growth as without their existence in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
there will not be any productivity. Manager
are placed
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
to manage and supervise their regular task.
For instance
, As per a study, it
is concluded
that when the workforce
is involved
in taking active participation of day to day operation the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
grew
Did you mean "faster than"?
faster then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
for this reason
fewer propose to take
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
in the consideration in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinion, I
strongly
support the notion to retaining the power to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for the industry as each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
does not possess the required management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in taking responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that all the companies decisions should be decide by the managers, while others think it is better to include employees in decision. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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