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Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people argue that parents have the most impact on their child’s academic growth; meanwhile others say that it is the child’s teacher who has more influence. While parents are the initial teachers for their kids, I believe that the twelve-year teaching process at school has more significant influence on a child’s academic development. On one hand, parents play an essential role as the very first teachers for their child as they teach their new born baby to read, to talk, and to behave politely. These qualities are required to build the educational foundation of a child. My aunt has recently been a mother and as a parent, she created an education friendly environment and involved herself in helping her child in his early studies. On the other hand, the teachers spend the average of seven hours at school for almost twelve years educating children. During the period, not only do teachers give lectures based on the curriculum, but also analyze children’s self potentials and share their opinions to improve their abilities. For example, in Indonesia, high school students study at school from 7AM to 12PM before taking extra courses, extracurricular, or counseling in the afternoon; all of which are done with the teachers in guidance. In conclusion, parents are the first ones to introduce the education world to their child, yet the major academic growth is due to lessons which are given earnestly and continuously by the teachers at. Thus, in my opinion, teacher has more influence than of parents on a child’s academic development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the most impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
growth; meanwhile others say that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
who has more influence. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for their kids, I believe that the twelve-year teaching process at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has more significant influence on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
development.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an essential role as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they teach their
This word is normally spelled as one.
new born
baby to read, to talk, and to behave
politely
. These qualities
are required
to build the educational foundation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. My aunt has recently been a mother and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, she created an education friendly environment and involved herself in helping her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in his early studies.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
spend the average of seven hours at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for almost twelve years educating children. During the period, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
give lectures based on the curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
analyze children’s self potentials and share their opinions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their abilities.
For example
, in Indonesia, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
from 7AM to 12PM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking extra courses, extracurricular, or counseling in the afternoon; all of which
are done
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in guidance.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
ones to introduce the education world to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
,
yet
the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
growth is due to lessons which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
earnestly
and
continuously
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at.
Thus
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has more influence than of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
development.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents have the greatest influence on their child's academic development, while others think a child's teacher who has more influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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