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Some people believe that a vertical city in which people work and live in tall buildings is a good idea. Others say that horizontal living is better. Discuss both views and express your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that a vertical city in which people work and live in tall buildings is a good idea. Others say that horizontal living is better. v. 1
It is important to find out which subjects should a student opt for the tertiary education. Some people believe that they should choose science-related majors for higher studies in order to procure a lucrative job, while others opine there should be a complete freedom to choose subjects of their own interest. I completely agree with the former view as with this there will be a decrease in failure rates. On the one hand, there is no doubt scientific courses are quintessential for earning a job after the completion of university education. The reason for this is that most of the sectors these days are computer oriented and the demand for science graduates is increasing with every passing day. To illustrate, with the surge in digitalisation in India, there is a 40% proliferation in the science-related jobs in comparison than other areas. Therefore, these subjects are preferred as they provide job assurance. On the other hand, providing liberty to the students to choose majors according to their interest can certainly lead to lower failure rates. This is because, grasping of the things of one’s own passion is generally easy, which leads to the detailed learning of the subject and provides the opportunity to achieve success in that particular field. To exemplify, Taylor Swift, a world-famous music director and a singer, studied music as a major. Thus, in my opinion, people are more likely to succeed if they follow their interests. In conclusion, although science-based provide more employment opportunities, in my perspective, the choice of subjects with respect to the interest and passion often leads to a successful career.
It is
important
to find out which
subjects
should a student opt for the tertiary education.
Some
people
believe that they should choose science-related majors for higher studies in order to procure a lucrative
job
, while others opine there should be
a complete freedom
to choose
subjects
of their
own
interest. I completely
agree
with the former view as with this there will be a decrease in failure rates.

On the one hand, there is no doubt scientific courses are quintessential for earning a
job
after the completion of university education.
The reason for this is
that most of the sectors these days are computer oriented and the demand for science graduates is increasing with every passing day. To illustrate, with the surge in
digitalisation
in India, there is a 40% proliferation in the science-related
jobs
in comparison
than other areas.
Therefore
, these
subjects
are preferred
as they provide
job
assurance.

On the other hand
, providing liberty to the students to choose majors according to their interest can
certainly
lead to lower failure rates. This is
because
, grasping of the things of one’s
own
passion is
generally
easy, which leads to the detailed learning of the
subject
and provides the opportunity to achieve success in that particular field. To exemplify, Taylor Swift, a world-
famous
music director and a singer, studied music as a major.
Thus
, in my opinion,
people
are more likely to succeed if they follow their interests.

In conclusion
, although science-based provide more employment opportunities, in my perspective, the choice of
subjects
with respect to the interest and passion
often
leads to a successful career.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that a vertical city in which people work and live in tall buildings is a good idea. Others say that horizontal living is better. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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