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Some people believe that is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings as compared to an horizontal city with fewer tall buildings Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings as compared to an horizontal city with fewer tall buildings 1
Mobile phones are widely being used by everybody across the entire world and people cannot imagine their lives without this tiny smart gadget. Undoubtedly, mobile phones have transformed the way we live our routine lives, communicate with each other and do our business. But, they are also the reason behind the majority of the social and medical problems currently being faced by the society. They certainly have more advantages than the disadvantages which is the reason why they are being excessively used by people. On one hand, mobile phones have blessed us with a variety of information in all fields of our life. They have helped us a lot in eliminating physical distance with our loved ones as it is now possible to easily communicate with them even though they are thousands of miles away from us. Our daily necessities such as vegetables, fruits, groceries can be ordered over mobile phones and they get delivered to our doorstep. Train, bus and flight reservations are now easier than ever. Mobile phones are a blessing for those who want to run their business from home. Programmers have developed applications for almost everything that we need during our entire day, for example, there are applications for listening to music, watching movies, cooking shows, online shopping, playing games, reading books, learning, news and so on. In summary, our day starts with mobile and it ends with the same. On the other hand, mobile phones have caused some problems which are unavoidable. People are so much involved in socializing with their friends or relatives that are thousands of miles apart that they have forgotten about those who are sitting just in front of them. Though they live in the same house, they do not have enough time to talk to each other. Instead of meeting each other on the special occasions or festivals, people prefer to wish each other over the mobile phones. Mobile phones are also contributing a lot towards medical problems. Heavy usage of mobile phones can cause damage to the eyesight and lack of concentration. Instead of seeing doctors for medical emergencies, many people search for their symptoms on their mobile phones and try to apply the cure mentioned in it. Although this cure helps many times, it can lead to serious medical conditions if we avoid seeing doctor despite cure is not working for us. To conclude, I would say that mobile phones are indeed causing us a lot of problems on social and medical front, but they can be proven more advantageous than disadvantageous if used wisely and carefully.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
widely
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by everybody across the entire world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot imagine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
without this tiny smart gadget.
Undoubtedly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have transformed the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
our routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and do our business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they are
also
the reason behind the majority of the social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
currently
being faced
by the society. They
certainly
have more advantages than the disadvantages which is the reason why they are being
excessively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On one hand, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have blessed us with a variety of information in all fields of our life. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us a lot in eliminating physical distance with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to
easily
communicate with them
even though
they are thousands of miles away from us. Our daily necessities such as vegetables, fruits, groceries can
be ordered
over mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
phones and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
delivered to our doorstep. Train, bus and flight reservations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easier than ever. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are a blessing for those who want to run their business from home. Programmers have developed applications for almost everything that we need during our entire day,
for example
, there are applications for listening to music, watching movies, cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, online shopping, playing games, reading books, learning, news and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In summary, our day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with mobile and it ends with the same.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which are unavoidable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much involved in socializing with their friends or relatives that are thousands of miles apart that they have forgotten about those who are sitting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in front of them. Though they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Instead
of meeting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on the special occasions or festivals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to wish each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
over the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
also
contributing a lot towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Heavy usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can cause damage to the eyesight and lack of concentration.
Instead
of seeing doctors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
emergencies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
search for their symptoms on their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and try to apply the cure mentioned in it. Although this cure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, it can lead to serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
conditions if we avoid seeing doctor despite cure is not working for us.

To conclude
, I would say that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
indeed
causing us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
front,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
be proven
more advantageous than disadvantageous if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
and
carefully
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people believe that is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings as compared to an horizontal city with fewer tall buildings 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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