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Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. v. 1
There are arguments that students who graduated from high school should have a year break before enrolling in college or university as it will give them several opportunities and advantages. However, other individuals believe that students must have a continuous education. It seems reasonable to argue that a year break between secondary and tertiary education is not a reasonable perspective. Primarily, it is often said that if a student decided to give himself a one year vacation before pursuing the higher education, he or she might b able to gain work experiences. Obviously, the student can use the experiences once he or she applied as a professional employee in a certain institution. This is because most of employers often seek workers who have numerous work experiences and credentials. Linked to this is the fact that every high school graduate student has encountered the pressure of studying difficult subjects such as geometry and physics. Thus, a year break will give the student a chance to indulge in his or her desired activities. Understandably, the schedule in some high schools consumes most of the students’ time, which could have been spent on relaxation or hobbies. Besides, the year gap could be used to travel extensively and that would be an excellent opportunity for them to gather firsthand experience about the different cultures and countries. Students who get practical job experience can learn money management and learn to appreciate the value of money. The experience gathered from job and travel often helps them to excel in their academic studies when they start their academic years in university. However, it cannot be denied that students may find it difficult to adjust to the lessons and topics being discussed at the primary level in college. One major reason of this is that the students could forget the knowledge they have learned during their high school days. As can be expected, in college, some professors appear to start at basic subjects, such as algebra and English, in order to help the students adapt to the level of difficulty. In addition to this, the students could be enticed to abandon their studies because they might think that the salaries in their temporary occupations are enough to supplement their financial needs. For instance, some students in the Philippines are attracted by the higher salaries offered in non-skilled jobs, which make them sacrifice their education. In conclusion, I am convinced that a year break must not be encouraged to every high school graduate student due to the fact that it may ruin the student’s education. It is very likely that all students will procure better jobs which offer a higher salary if they finish their education.
There are arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who graduated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolling in college or university as it will give them several opportunities and advantages.
However
, other individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It seems reasonable to argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
between secondary and tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not a reasonable perspective.

Primarily
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
decided to give himself a one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
vacation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, he or she might b able to gain work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
Obviously
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
once he or she applied as a professional employee in a certain institution. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the employers") or simply say "most employers".
most of employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
seek workers who have numerous work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and credentials. Linked to this is the fact that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has encountered the pressure of studying difficult subjects such as geometry and physics.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
will give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
a chance to indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
desired activities.
Understandably
, the schedule in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
consumes most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
time, which could have
been spent
on relaxation or hobbies.

Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel
extensively
and that would be an excellent opportunity for them to gather firsthand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can learn money management and learn to appreciate the value of money. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
gathered from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to excel in their academic studies when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their academic years in university.

However
, it cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may find it difficult to adjust to the lessons and topics
being discussed
at the primary level in college. One major reason of this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could forget the knowledge they have learned during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, in college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professors appear to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
at basic subjects, such as algebra and English, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
adapt to the level of difficulty.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
be enticed
to abandon their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the salaries in their temporary occupations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to supplement their financial needs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the Philippines
are attracted
by the higher salaries offered in non-skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them sacrifice their education.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be encouraged
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
due to the fact that it may ruin the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will procure better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which offer a higher salary if they finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
447 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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