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Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. v.3

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. v. 3
Education gap has been a controversial topic of debate for a long time. Some people consider a break between school and university as a positive move, whereas another group of people think that it produces more of negative outcome than positive for a student. I strongly opine that students should not take a gap in their educational steps and I will explain my view below. On the one hand, some people argue that the duration that a student gets from a year gap between two educational levels might give them an opportunity to explore and enhance their interpersonal behavior and they can also plan and attempt for a step towards their dream career. They can utilize this time in the preparation of different competitive exams which can open several doors for them besides the regular ones. Furthermore, this timestamp can also be useful for them in recognizing and recreating themselves, so that they can step towards a civil job or a business, whatever their interest is. For instance, a survey conducted through The Times of India shows that 30% of the students take a year gap after their higher education degree to prepare themselves for pursuing their aspirations. On the other hand, students who take some time off before starting their college studies might get distracted from the goals and might get involved in mischievous activities rather than utilizing their time productively. For illustration, young people might want to use this time in some leisure activities such as outing with friends and travelling, considering this time to be too long to prepare themselves for their upcoming challenges and then they might end up spending most of their instances in such practice. Additionally, their parents might have to deal with an unwanted financial crisis to entertain their extra expenses during this one year which can be a burden for some elderly people. In conclusion, in my opinion, teenagers should not be given a break in their studies which is outweighing the other part of the topic. Although young people can leverage this time for self-development and prepare for their bright career, there is more possibility of them getting diverted from their target and they might get indulged in the unwanted activities.
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
has been a controversial topic of debate for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider a break between school and university as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
, whereas another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it produces more of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. I
strongly
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
in their educational steps and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my view below.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the duration that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
from a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between two educational levels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
give them an opportunity to explore and enhance their interpersonal
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behavior and
they can
also
plan and attempt for a step towards their dream career. They can utilize this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the preparation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
competitive exams which can open several doors for them
besides
the regular ones.
Furthermore
, this timestamp can
also
be useful for them in recognizing and recreating themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can step towards a civil job or a business, whatever their interest is.
For instance
, a survey conducted through The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
after their higher education degree to prepare themselves for pursuing their aspirations.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting their college studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from the goals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in mischievous activities
rather
than utilizing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
productively
. For illustration, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure activities such as outing with friends and travelling, considering this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be too long to prepare themselves for their upcoming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
challenges and
then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending most of their instances in such practice.
Additionally
, their parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with an unwanted financial crisis to entertain their extra expenses during this one year which can be a burden for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a break in their studies which is outweighing the other part of the topic. Although young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can leverage this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for self-development and prepare for their bright career, there is more possibility of them getting diverted from their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
target and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulged in the unwanted activities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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