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Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.17

Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 17
While many parents are using books as a learning material for their children, some argue that they should use online reading materials to make progress of learning. In my opinion, parents should utilize not only printed materials, but also internet as a teaching tool. On the one hand, books are very familiar to the children and even they do not understand a word, they can gain knowledge by looking the pictures in a book. Besides, when a book cover is very attractive, the kids will pay more attention to reading. Moreover, children-books are not very expensive to purchase for parents. Although tablets or phones are not good for eyesight of every child, books are very suitable for prolonged reading. For example, when I was young, my parents permitted me to use online every time and I think this is the main reason why I became a short-sighted person. On the other hand, we can search various e-books, including cartoons for children. Unlike books, the internet also provides mobile pictures which can persuade children. For instance, if we leave our children with a tablet, they will probably be quiet by searching everything that they want to know from the net instead of messing around the house. In addition, children will never get bored if they have to learn from online. Nowadays, some schools have started using tablets or iPad as a teaching material in many primary schools in modernized countries like USA, or Australia. To sum up, no one can deny that books are the fundamental materials for every young learners, however, I personally believe that many parents and schools will also substitute books with online to teach their children in near future.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress of learning. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should utilize not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
internet as a teaching tool.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
familiar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and even they do not understand a word, they can gain knowledge by looking the pictures in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Besides
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
cover is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive, the kids will pay more attention to reading.
Moreover
, children-books are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Although tablets or phones are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for eyesight of every child,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
suitable for prolonged reading.
For example
, when I was young, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
permitted me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
every time and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the main reason why I became a short-sighted person.

On the other hand
, we can search various e-books, including cartoons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, the internet
also
provides mobile pictures which can persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a tablet, they will
probably
be quiet by searching everything that they want to know from the net
instead
of messing around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using tablets or iPad as a teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
primary schools in modernized countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
, or Australia.

To sum up, no one can deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
for every young learners,
however
, I
personally
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and schools will
also
substitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in near future.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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