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Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions. v.1

Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. v. 1
Nowadays, technologies change the way of children’s learning. The question of whether children should use online materials only or printed materials solely for learning to read has become a hot topic. For my personal opinion, I think both online and printed materials should be used so to maximum the efficiency of learning and avoid the drawback of relying on online or printed materials solely. On one hand, there are couple of reasons that support the statement of providing online materials only for children to learn to read. First, it is environmental friendly which less tree would be consumed if less paper is needed. Second, it is more efficient since online materials are interactive and functionable, for example, there are softwares which can pronounce the word automatically when the children is reading. Moreover, online materials are easier for update which ensure children to get the latest learning source immediately. On the other hand, some people reckon only printed reading materials should be used for several reasons. Firstly, printed reading source provide lesser distractions to children, for instance, functions of online materials such as little games may be considered as distractions which have negative impacts to children. Therefore, printed materials can encourage children to concentrate in learning. More importantly, the health of eyes is easier to be damaged if children look at electronic gadgets for a long period, thus, using printed sources solely would be beneficial to children’s eyes. In conclusion, I do suggest children to learn by both online and printed materials as they both have pros and cons, therefore, children should strive a balance in using these two materials. By using two materials wisely, children can improve the efficiency of learning and prevent from hurting the eyes at the same time.
Nowadays, technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
solely
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to read has become a hot topic. For my personal opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to maximum the efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and avoid the drawback of relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
solely
.

On one hand, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
reasons that support the statement of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn to read.
First
, it is environmental friendly which less tree would
be consumed
if less paper
is needed
. Second, it is more efficient since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are interactive and
Possible spelling mistake found.
functionable
,
for example
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
which can pronounce the word
automatically
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You should probably use: "are".
is
reading.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are easier for update which ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
source immediately.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for several reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
reading source provide lesser distractions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
for instance
, functions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
games may
be considered
as distractions which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to concentrate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. More
importantly
, the health of eyes is easier to
be damaged
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
look at electronic gadgets for a long period,
thus
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
sources
solely
would be beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
eyes.

In conclusion
, I do suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
as they both have pros and cons,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should strive a balance in using these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
. By using two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
wisely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from hurting the eyes at the same time.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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