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Some people believe in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some ways. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some ways. v. 1
Hobbies are the best way to diverge our mind. There is no direct relationship between the difficulty level of a hobby and the enjoyment from it, however, some people believe, it has a direct relationship. In my opinion, both can be fun. To begin with, no one chooses a hobby by looking after its level of difficulty. It is only about the interest of people, which makes them happy, to illustrate, many people enjoy playing snakes and ladder, although, it is an easy game for most of the adults but many of them enjoy it because they find it interesting. Similarly, the basic card game is easy to play, however, when it's played with multiple friends then becomes pleasurable. On the contrary, difficult hobbies can sometimes be exciting. If a hobby is challenging, we might feel a sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it. For example, film editing is a hobby which requires a level of knowledge and expertise. Many people take few years to become experts and find it boring during that tenure, however, once they start it, it becomes pleasurable. In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hobbies
are the best way to diverge our mind. There is no direct relationship between the difficulty level of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
and the enjoyment from it,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe, it has a direct relationship. In my opinion, both can be fun.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, no one chooses a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
by looking after its level of difficulty. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy, to illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy playing snakes and ladder, although, it is an easy game for most of the adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them enjoy it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find it interesting.
Similarly
, the basic card game is easy to play,
however
, when it's played with multiple friends then becomes pleasurable.

On the contrary
, difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be exciting. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
is challenging, we might feel a sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it.
For example
, film editing is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
which requires a level of knowledge and expertise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take few years to become experts and find it boring during that tenure,
however
, once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
it, it becomes pleasurable.

In conclusion
, simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can be fun and relaxing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can be
equally
pleasurable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some ways. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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