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Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffice congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffice congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. v. 1
Some commentators argue that expenditure should be spent on the erection of train and subway lines to reduce traffic jams, while others insist on building new and wider roads. Much as I am in favour of the former idea, I will still take both arguments into consideration in this essay. On the one hand, the improvement of roads to solve the traffic congestion problem is undoubtedly a worthy aim of any government. Firstly, the road system is inadequate to cope with the increasing number of vehicles, especially in city centres. For example, numerous people have to commute farther to work as a result of the expansion of metropolises, so creating more roads to enlarge the traffic flow is necessary. Secondly, the rise in the number of vehicles is also a pressing issue of the outskirts. Therefore, building interstates possibly helps drivers not to have to confront the growing volume of traffic. On the other hand, I believe that constructing new train and subway lines is a much more effective solution to the problem of traffic congestion. One reason is that public transport helps to protect the environment. To demonstrate, there are tons of exhausting fumes released into the atmosphere on a daily basis, which can be reduced by public transport. The other reason is that building train and subway lines is a more practical approach to conduct. To explain, there is a shortage of available space for new or wider roads in cities. In conclusion, although the erection of more and wider roads contributes to the reduction of traffic congestion, it seems to me that public transport as train and subway lines should also be supported owing to their environmental friendliness and practicality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
commentators argue that expenditure should
be spent
on the erection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams, while others insist on building new and wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Much as I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I will
still
take both arguments into consideration in this essay.

On the one hand, the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion problem is
undoubtedly
a worthy aim of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system is inadequate to cope with the increasing number of vehicles,
especially
in city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
For example
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
commute farther to work
as a result
of the expansion of metropolises,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to enlarge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
flow is necessary.
Secondly
, the rise in the number of vehicles is
also
a pressing issue of the outskirts.
Therefore
, building interstates
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
drivers not to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
confront the growing volume of traffic.

On the other hand
, I believe that constructing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
is a much more effective solution to the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. One reason is that public transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to protect the environment. To demonstrate, there are tons of exhausting fumes released into the atmosphere on a daily basis, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by public transport. The other reason is that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
is a more practical approach to conduct. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, there is a shortage of available space for new or wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in cities.

In conclusion
, although the erection of more and wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
contributes to the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion, it seems to me that public transport as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
should
also
be supported
owing to their environmental friendliness and practicality.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffice congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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