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Some people believe children should get homework everyday, while others think they should not. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe children should get homework everyday, while others think they should not. v. 1
The teachers divide into two campuses toward the homework. Some of them, opponents, says the daily task gives them a feedback about the pupil’s comprehension, others, proponents, claim that it will be overloaded with the students. Firstly, the opponent says that daily school duties is not only do helping students to understand the subject, but also assisting the teacher to get feedback from his pupil. In other words, if the students answer the task, it means they completely understand the lesson. Thus, the teachers needlessly repeat this lesson for his class. Moreover, if they have a lot of mistakes, it means the teacher should repeat explanation the lesson for his scholar. However, the students may face some challenge with their exercise helping them to search in the library or internet. Thereby, That will improve their cognitive thinking collaboration skills. On the other hand, the proponents claim that the exercise is not beneficial for several reasons. Firstly, the exercise is compulsory conflicting with the human being because the human being tends to freedom. For example, if scholar felt the compulsory task, they would try to finish it rather than understand it. Moreover, daily exercise has adversely affected on the students. For example, it needlessly says that a huge of school duties will constrain the students' movements, so that makes them feel some pressure. This type of pressure may exaggerate into mental health issues; such as, anxiety. In conclusion, people still wonder whether the exercise is a good for scholar or not. The supportive side pretends that pupil’s exercise will give feedback from pupil about their comprehension, while another side contend that this type of daily works may lead scholar to get mental health issues. It seems to my thinking way that both sides have a logical reason behind their opinions, but the disadvantages of overload school
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
divide into two campuses toward the homework.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them, opponents, says the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
task gives them a feedback about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil’s
comprehension, others, proponents, claim that it will
be overloaded
with the students.

Firstly
, the opponent says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
school duties is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand the subject,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assisting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
feedback from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
.
In other words
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
answer the task, it means they completely understand the lesson.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
needlessly
repeat this lesson for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Moreover
, if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
mistakes, it means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should repeat explanation the lesson for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholar
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenge with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
helping them to search in the library or internet. Thereby, That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their cognitive thinking collaboration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, the proponents claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is not beneficial for several reasons.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is compulsory conflicting with the human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the human being tends to freedom.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholar
felt the compulsory task, they would try to finish it
rather
than understand it.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
has
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, it
needlessly
says that
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
school duties will constrain the students' movements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pressure. This type of pressure may exaggerate into mental health issues; such as, anxiety.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
wonder whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholar
or not. The supportive side pretends that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
will give feedback from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
about their comprehension, while another side contend that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
works may lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholar
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mental health issues. It seems to my thinking way that both sides have a logical reason behind their opinions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the disadvantages of overload
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe children should get homework everyday, while others think they should not. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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