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ın the modern life, family breakdown and divorce rates are increasing. Solution and discuss it. v.2

ın the modern life, family breakdown and divorce rates are increasing. Solution and discuss it. v. 2
Divorce is the one of the most common issues in current times. In the present socialized society, there are many couples who are getting separate and breaking their relations. The main cause of this issue is the lack of family values and proper understanding between couples. This essay will analyse the principal problems and offers solutions to this issue. Firstly, if parents get separated it will not only effect on the couple, but also, it reflects on their children. Children cannot decide with whom they want to stay and they will also loss love from one parent. On the other hand, single parent can't take care of the children properly, this will lead to effect on their studies and mental conditions because both the parents should teach their kids about the society and values. For example, a kid who stays with her mother will not have a strong mature mind to face the society because the father will be more capable to explain about this to the kid. Secondly, parents should have a better understanding and counselling to over these problems. There must be a good communicator and an elder person to teach them value of the families and relations. Moreover, the laws should be developed to give a quality counselling to the couple who are intending to get separated. In an instance, before getting marriage the parents of the couples should make them to know about the parental relationships and their effect on the future generations and further more, courts should give some time to couples to spend with councillors before applying for a divorce. In conclusion, all the parents must learn about the family relations and mature enough to face problems between themselves to give a better life to future generation. Not only this, government should also pass strict rules against divorces.
Divorce is the one of the most common issues in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times. In the present socialized society, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
who are getting separate and breaking their relations. The main cause of this issue is the lack of family values and proper understanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the principal problems and offers solutions to this issue.

Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
separated it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, it reflects on their children. Children cannot decide with whom they want to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stay and
they will
also
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
On the other hand
, single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can't take care of the children
properly
, this will lead to effect on their studies and mental conditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their kids about the society and values.
For example
, a kid who stays with her mother will not have a strong mature mind to face the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the father will be more capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about this to the kid.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have a better understanding and counselling to over these problems. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communicator and an elder person to teach them value of the families and relations.
Moreover
, the laws should
be developed
to give a quality counselling to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
who are intending to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
separated. In an instance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting marriage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to know about the parental relationships and their effect on the future generations and
further
more, courts should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
to spend with councillors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying for a divorce.

In conclusion
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn about the family relations and mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to face problems between themselves to give a better life to future generation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
pass strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
against divorces.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay ın the modern life, family breakdown and divorce rates are increasing. Solution and discuss it. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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