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Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to get successful at school. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.7

Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to get successful at school. v. 7
Nowadays, parents are more concerned about their kid’s education and some thought that activities which are assigned to kids for home are the best way to keep the kids active at home while others think that they should be given leisure time free from the academic burden at home. I personally think that homework would be a must to do thing in any curriculum of the school as this keeps the child brain active. This essay will analyse this situation using examples of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey in order to demonstrate points and support claims. Firstly, competition in the world is rising among young generation so we can’t expect any laziness from our kids at any stage. Furthermore, tasks which are assigned to kids for home is just a revision of their day-to-day activities and to keep them on track. For example, Oxford University in 2015 conducted a research on talented kids and their work schedule and it is commonly found that almost all kids belong to the schools which assign tasks to kids for home. So, from this example, it is clear that in order to make our kids more talented we need to engage them in any academic activities even when they are out of their educational campus. Secondly, some people think that kids off educational time is spent in other activities so that their approach will become more analytical. Additionally, kids concentrate more on their academic curriculums if they spend some time on extracurricular activities. For instance, Time Magazine in 2015 conducted a survey of educational patterns and leisure activities of children and 60% parents agreed that kids should not be given any kind of education related activities for home. So, it is clear from this that extracurricular activities are not ignored and kids are free to do them once their school is over. To conclude, it’s beneficial to engage kids to do some extracurricular activities, but academic tasks which are assigned to do after school are of equal importance to compete in their respective institution.
Nowadays, parents are more concerned about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which
are assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for home are the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
active at home while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
free from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
burden at home. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that homework would be a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
do thing in any curriculum of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the child brain active. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
this situation using examples of Oxford University research and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
Magazine survey in order to demonstrate points and support claims.

Firstly
, competition in the world is rising among young generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
any laziness from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at any stage.
Furthermore
, tasks which
are assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a revision of their day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.
For example
, Oxford University in 2015 conducted
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
on talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and their work schedule and it is
commonly
found that almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which assign tasks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, from this example, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
more talented we need to engage them in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
even when they are out of their educational campus.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
off educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is spent
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their approach will become more analytical.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
concentrate more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
curriculums if they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
Magazine in 2015 conducted a survey of educational patterns and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of children and 60% parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any kind of education related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from this that extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are free to do them once their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is over.

To conclude
, it’s beneficial to engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
tasks which
are assigned
to do after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are of equal importance to compete in their respective institution.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to get successful at school. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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