Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe bicycle have a lot of advantages while others believe bicycle have more disadvantages Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe bicycle have a lot of advantages while others believe bicycle have more disadvantages 1
Currently, there is an increase in believing that an individual’s value can be evaluated by his social status and material possessions, whereas positive hallmarks of human’s dignity such as honour, kindness and trust are no longer important. However, I do not agree with this point of view, which I will discuss now. First of all, these characters are still essential to judge one’s worth. For example, celebrities are the people who have lots of fame and fortune, but they are still exposed by newspapers when it comes to private life. Take a look at a famous pop star like Chris Brown. Despite being a successful singer, he was accused of hitting and abusing his girlfriend, Rihanna. Another example is Jackie Chan, who is a popular movie star, confessed to the public that he had slept with many women during his marriage. If everyone just looks at a person with admiration for his work, property and popularity, but ignores his character, they are praising the wrong one. Another point I want to cover is that traditional values are still maintained in society. For instance, parents educate their children to become decent citizens based on these old-fashioned criteria. Moreover, every relationship is formed according to trust and kindness instead of richness, from couples having faith in their counterpart to lead a healthy love life or business partnerships can get along well with each other by showing generosity. In conclusion, social status and material possessions do not show the true self of a person. Old-fashioned values still remain in society and they are the criteria to judge a person’s worth.
Currently
, there is an increase in believing that an individual’s value can
be evaluated
by his social status and material possessions, whereas
positive
hallmarks of human’s dignity such as
honour
, kindness and trust are no longer
important
.
However
, I do not
agree
with this point of view, which I will discuss
now
.

First of all
, these characters are
still
essential to judge one’s worth.
For example
, celebrities are the
people
who have lots of fame and fortune,
but
they are
still
exposed by newspapers when it
comes
to private life. Take a look at a
famous
pop star like Chris Brown. Despite being a successful singer, he
was accused
of hitting and abusing his girlfriend, Rihanna. Another example is Jackie Chan, who is a popular movie star, confessed to the public that he had slept with
many
women during his marriage. If everyone
just
looks at a person with admiration for his work, property and popularity,
but
ignores
his character, they are praising the
wrong
one.

Another point I want to cover is that traditional values are
still
maintained in society.
For instance
, parents educate their children to become decent citizens based on these
old
-fashioned criteria.
Moreover
, every relationship
is formed
according to trust and kindness
instead
of richness, from couples having faith in their counterpart to lead a healthy
love
life or business partnerships can
get
along well with each other by showing generosity.

In conclusion
, social status and material possessions do not
show
the true self of a person.
Old
-fashioned values
still
remain in
society and
they are the criteria to judge a person’s worth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe bicycle have a lot of advantages while others believe bicycle have more disadvantages 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts