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Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Agree or disagree. v.1

Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Agree or disagree. v. 1
Giving expensive gifts to a child is a controversial topic nowadays. It is believed by some that costly presents can have a detrimental effect on children, I, however, agree with this view as they become addicted and do not value that present. One imperative reason for not providing costly gifts to children is that they no longer value it. To elucidate, if they get costly presents one after another from their parents without asking, it will reduce the importance of present for them and they do not tend to play with old valuable presents. Moreover, a child is not mature enough to handle that costly gift and he does not know which hardship his parents forced to give them such a valuable item. For instance, a study by Child Care Organisation found that 59% of children who get costly gifts frequently without asking to never play with the same presents again. Addiction to expensive gifts is also an obvious reason to avoid giving children valuable gifts. Due to good financial condition, a child gets costly gifts which make them addicted to having such gifts every time. It is true that the future is unpredictable, so we do not know whether their parents could afford to buy or not. In order to steer clear such addiction in the future, their parents should avoid providing them buy such costly presents. Furthermore, such addiction leads to the financial burden on parents, which is inevitable. For example, a survey by the Times of India in March 2019 revealed that 52% of parents take a loan due to pestering habits of their child. consequently, it creates a financial burden on them. In conclusion, although some are still in favour of giving expensive presents to children, I strongly disagree as not only do they not value expensive presents one after another, but also they become addicted to it and can create a financial burden on their parents.
Giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is a controversial topic nowadays. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
can have a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as they become addicted and do not value that present.

One imperative reason for not providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that they no longer value it. To elucidate, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
one after another from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
without asking, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they do not tend to play with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gift and
he does not know which hardship his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
forced to give them such a valuable item.
For instance
, a study by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
Care
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
found that 59% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
frequently
without
This is a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after 'asking'. Remove it: "asking".
asking to
never play with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
again.

Addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
is
also
an obvious reason to avoid giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
. Due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
condition, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them addicted to having such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
every time. It is true that the future is unpredictable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we do not know whether their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or not. In order to steer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
such addiction in the future, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should avoid providing them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
.
Furthermore
, such addiction leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which is inevitable.
For example
, a survey by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
in March 2019 revealed that 52% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take a loan due to pestering habits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, it creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden on them.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
still
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
strongly
disagree as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they not value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
one after another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they become addicted to it and can create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Agree or disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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