Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive? Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive? v. 4
Few individuals assert that high-tech devices, especially communication gadgets has disconnected humans from the society. I agree with this statement because there would be a lack of communication as well as increase in mental processes due to this. To initiate with, broadening of social gap is the main disadvantage of overuse of cell phone as earlier people probably used to come out of their homes at night within society compounds for a get together, on the other hand, these days most adults, if not all, are occupied in chat with their buddies on social networking sites. To illustrate, a survey conducted by Oxford University on 14th March, 2017 found that 80% parents are too engaged with their cell phones that they do not spend sufficient time with their children and neighbours. As a result, it has an adverse effect on personal relations. Furthermore, psychological imbalance can also be created due to more utilization of mobile phone because most people, while using these generally remain isolated and lonely, which is in the long run, can result in depression and insomnia. To illustrate, kids especially, these days are exposed to technology, hence deprived of any physical activity. Subsequently, it often alters the behaviour of person as they turn out to be shy, lonely, introverted individual. To sum up, more interaction towards technology leads to the unhealthy face to face bonding as well as psychotic disorders take place among the humans.
Few individuals assert that high-tech devices,
especially
communication gadgets has disconnected humans from the society. I
agree
with this statement
because
there would be a lack of communication
as well
as increase in mental processes due to this.

To initiate with, broadening of social gap is the main disadvantage of overuse of cell phone as earlier
people
probably
used
to
come
out of their homes at night within society compounds for a
get
together,
on the other hand
, these days most adults, if not all,
are occupied
in chat with their buddies on social networking sites. To illustrate, a survey conducted by Oxford University on 14th
March, 2017
found that 80% parents are too engaged with their cell phones that they do not spend sufficient time with their children and
neighbours
.
As a result
, it has an adverse effect on personal relations.

Furthermore
, psychological imbalance can
also
be created
due to more utilization of mobile phone
because
most
people
, while using these
generally
remain isolated and lonely, which is in the long run, can result in depression and insomnia. To illustrate, kids
especially
, these days
are exposed
to technology,
hence
deprived of any physical activity.
Subsequently
, it
often
alters the
behaviour
of person as they turn out to be shy, lonely, introverted individual.

To sum up, more interaction towards technology leads to the unhealthy face to face bonding
as well
as psychotic disorders take place among the humans.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts