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Some people today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Some people argue that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain all the information that they need form the internet. They can learn and be educated at home. v. 3
Some people believe that school is no longer necessary for children, because the Internet can educate them instead. I completely disagree with this idea, because only in school can children have the opportunity to make friends and learn from highly-trained educators. One reason I believe that school is necessary for all students is because in school, they can make new friends. In fact, for many students, school is the only chance that they have to interact with their peers. During the day, they work on math projects together, play on the same volleyball team in gym class, and eat lunch together in the cafeteria. Specifically, when I was a high-school student, I joined the Model United Nations club at school. I made many close friends with whom I even took an overnight trip to Boston University; we spent that entire weekend together. In addition to making new friends at school, students can only learn from professional educators in a traditional, in-person school. These specially-trained teachers have a lot of experience. They know how to diversify their teaching methods and assess students’ knowledge. In fact, in order to earn a Bachelor’s Degree in Education from the University of Delaware, a prospective teacher needs to complete 50 hours of supervised teaching. Additionally, she needs to submit a portfolio of 10 high-quality lesson plans that adhere to national teaching standards. Again, on the Internet, there is no way to find an educator with this level of training. In conclusion, I disagree that schools have become unnecessary because of the Internet; in fact, students can make lifelong friendships and learn from highly-trained professionals in a school setting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is no longer necessary for children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the Internet can educate them
instead
. I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can children have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and learn from
highly
-trained educators.

One reason I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is necessary for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. In fact, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
chance that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with their peers. During the day, they work on math projects together, play on the same volleyball team in gym
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, and eat lunch together in the cafeteria.
Specifically
, when I was a high-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the Model United Nations club at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with whom I even took an overnight trip to Boston University; we spent that entire weekend together.

In addition
to making new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn from professional educators in a traditional, in-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. These
specially
-trained teachers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience. They know how to diversify their teaching methods and assess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
knowledge. In fact, in order to earn a Bachelor’s Degree in Education from the University of Delaware, a prospective teacher needs to complete 50 hours of supervised teaching.
Additionally
, she needs to submit a portfolio of 10 high-quality lesson plans that adhere to national teaching standards. Again, on the Internet, there is no way to find an educator with this level of training.

In conclusion
, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have become unnecessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the Internet; in fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lifelong friendships and learn from
highly
-trained professionals in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
setting.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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