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"Some people argue that missing school to take part in climate change protests is beneficial for young people. Others believe that children should remain in school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

"Some people argue that missing school to take part in climate change protests is beneficial for young people. Others believe that children should remain in school. v. 1
Although many opine that omitting school to participate in weather change protest is useful for youngsters, others consider that juvenile ought to be in school. The former view point is quite brave, which certainly will help students to understand global issues at an early stage of their life; however, later view point may just limit young one’s thinking up to the classroom only. In my opinion the former argument is more strong, perhaps more positive in children’s growth. There are merits of participating in weather change protest. To begin with, it is certainly useful and helps children to understand global issues at early stage of their life, and expressing disapproval bravely in front of whole world enables to exploit their knowledge by creating awareness towards mankind. As well as to this, they will be confident in dealing with different challenging situation, also they will not be tensed to solve their own issues. For example, if youngsters are facing any failure in exam or even in interview, they might give up easily, thus many have lost their lives by not able to cope with minor issues. Whereas, such protests are lifesavers for them and they can work calmly in given situations to solve it further from available options. However, keeping students in schools may limit their thinking process up to classroom only, thus making them more timid and shy, as a result of this, they will hesitate to put forward their opinion publicly. For example, there are many students, who even shy to make presentations in front of their fellow colleagues and teachers. Additionally, such youngsters may not able to compete with other school students when there are interschool competitions. In conclusion, on the whole, omitting classes for weather change protest seems more useful in children’s growth and helps them to think out of the box, however, just keeping students in schools will un able them to open up publicly. In my opinion, children should explore their knowledge to fullest and should not have any objection in protesting for well being of mankind. While, schools should encourage students by announcing a school holiday thus, helping them not to miss any classes.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opine that omitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to participate in weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
is useful for youngsters, others consider that juvenile ought to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The former view point is quite brave, which
certainly
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
at an early stage of their life;
however
, later view point may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
limit young one’s thinking up to the classroom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. In my opinion the former argument is more strong, perhaps more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
growth.

There are merits of participating in weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
certainly
useful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to understand global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
at early stage of their life, and expressing disapproval
bravely
in front of whole world enables to exploit their knowledge by creating awareness towards mankind.
As well
as to this, they will be confident in dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
challenging situation,
also
they will not
be tensed
to solve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
For example
, if youngsters are facing any failure in exam or even in interview, they might give up
easily
,
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by not able to cope with minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Whereas, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protests
are lifesavers for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they can work
calmly
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
situations to solve it
further
from available options.

However
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may limit their thinking process up to classroom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
thus
making them more timid and shy,
as a result
of this, they will hesitate to put forward their opinion
publicly
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who even shy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
presentations in front of their
Consider using "colleagues".
fellow colleagues
and teachers.
Additionally
, such youngsters may not able to compete with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
interschool
competitions.

In conclusion
,
on the whole
, omitting classes for weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
seems more useful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
growth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
un able
them to open up
publicly
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should explore their knowledge to fullest and should not have any objection in protesting for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of mankind. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by announcing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
holiday
thus
, helping them not to miss any classes.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay "Some people argue that missing school to take part in climate change protests is beneficial for young people. Others believe that children should remain in school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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