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Some people argue that historic building should be preserved in their original forms. Others arguethat this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people argue that historic building should be preserved in their original forms. Others arguethat this is both inadvisable and impossible. v. 1
There is a lot of controversy surrounding the practice of capital punishment across the world. Although the death penalty does have some benefits, I am of the opinion that it is not appropriate for a civilised society. There are several positive aspects associated with the application of the death penalty for extreme criminal cases. First of all, the death penalty could be considered to be the ultimate form of justice. For example, in the case of families who have had a loved one murdered, they might feel that true justice can only be found in taking the life of the murderer. Secondly, killing a convicted criminal is the most effective way of keeping people safe from people who have committed heinous actions. There are probably thousands of cases wherein murderers have completed their prison sentences or received parole and have killed again. However, the death penalty has significant drawbacks. First and foremost, capital punishment is a tool of the government which is not always used on guilty people. In the United States alone, over 300 executed apparent criminals have later been proven innocent. It should also be acknowledged that capital punishment has been used on political prisoners and for actions that are no longer considered crimes such as holding particular religious beliefs. Furthermore, capital punishment has major issues from an ethical standpoint. Capital punishment is nothing more than state-sanctioned murder because no man or government has the right to ‘play God’ and take a life. In conclusion, while the death penalty does have some advantages, it is clear that it can be misused and is immoral. Therefore, I believe that it should not be a part of the justice system.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
controversy surrounding the practice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
across the world. Although the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, I am of the opinion that it is not appropriate for a
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
society.

There are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects associated with the application of the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for extreme criminal cases.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
could
be considered
to be the ultimate form of justice.
For example
, in the case of families who have had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one murdered, they might feel that true justice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in taking the life of the murderer.
Secondly
, killing a convicted criminal is the most effective way of keeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
safe from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have committed heinous actions. There are
probably
thousands of cases wherein murderers have completed their prison sentences or received parole and have killed again.

However
, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
has significant drawbacks.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a tool of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which is not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on guilty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In the United States alone, over 300 executed apparent criminals have later
been proven
innocent. It should
also
be acknowledged
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on political prisoners and for actions that are no longer considered crimes such as holding particular religious beliefs.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
has major issues from an ethical standpoint.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is nothing more than state-sanctioned murder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has the right to ‘play God’ and take a life.

In conclusion
, while the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it can
be misused
and is immoral.
Therefore
, I believe that it should not be a part of the justice system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that historic building should be preserved in their original forms. Others arguethat this is both inadvisable and impossible. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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