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Some people argue that high sales of some popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising not the real need of consumer. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people argue that high sales of some popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising not the real need of consumer. v. 2
In the modern era, social media such as television and internet have important role in daily life people. One of the significant part of media is commercial. Some critic believes that publicity effect to purchaser for buying new merchandise without require them. From where I stand, this proposal shows power of advertising for sale goods and influence on buyers. To begin with, most company for sale their article, using power of advertising. Compare to the previous decade we have more advertising everywhere such as on television shows, internet, newspaper, billboards and many other similar items and container. Some companies being use special ads for selling their product. Hence, now that improving power of advertisement, use prominent people in ads and effort to shows the fact that these items are used by celebrities. In addition to, in each social media are shown advertise with famous person so that this item become popular and earned a great income to the company. However, sometimes advertiser don’t show real and general aspect of goods, which they are show in commercial, owing to using well ¬– known person, citizenship appetence to punches this item. Thus, businesses attain high sale of goods inasmuch as their items have high quality but for use commercial that show renowned person. Secondly, with excessive of commercial some people tend to shopping new materials which have the same as this things in order to it appear ability of advertising. Since people who stay at home spend most time on the television, they attend to deal modern product. After watching several times, advertise make sense to looker on needs these good so that viewer provoke to buy it. For the sake of providing several things, most society convert to materialist. For example, one of my classmate always watch commercial from internet and television. Consequently, watching these advertisements creates great interest in certain goods hence she tends to consume them; therefore, she always waste money for buy things that she has the same as these goods. Based on what was discussed, I think that is true power of advertising make people buy new things. Commercial not only pursued people to buy fresh goods but also make materialist in society. Also, advertisement can improve efficiency of company.
In the modern era, social media such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and internet have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in daily life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One of the significant part of media is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critic believes that publicity effect to purchaser for buying new merchandise without require them. From where I stand, this proposal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of advertising for sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and influence on buyers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for sale their article, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of advertising. Compare to the previous decade we have more advertising everywhere such as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, internet, newspaper, billboards and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and container.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
special ads for selling their product.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of advertisement,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in ads and effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by celebrities.
In addition
to, in each social media
are shown
advertise with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
become popular and earned a great income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
advertiser don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
real and general aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, which they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
, owing to using well ¬– known person, citizenship
Possible spelling mistake found.
appetence
to punches this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
.
Thus
, businesses attain high sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
inasmuch as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
have high quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
renowned person.

Secondly
, with excessive of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to shopping new materials which have the same as
Did you mean "these"?
this
things in order to it appear ability of advertising. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who stay at home spend most time on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, they attend to deal modern product. After watching several times, advertise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense to looker on needs these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
The verb 'provoke' is plural. Did you mean: "that viewer provokes"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that viewer provoke
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. For the sake of providing several things, most society convert to materialist.
For example
, one of my classmate always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
from internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Consequently
, watching these advertisements creates great interest in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
hence
she tends to consume them;
therefore
, she always waste money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that she has the same as these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Based on what
was discussed
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
new things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Commercial
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pursued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
materialist in society.
Also
, advertisement can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that high sales of some popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising not the real need of consumer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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