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Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never change it later. To what extent do you agree with this view? Support your opinion with relevant examples. v.2

Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never change it later. Support your opinion with relevant examples. v. 2
There is no doubt studying another language can bring new opportunities for someone. However, while many hold that this is exclusively done for tourism or working purposes, I would agree with those who claim there are many more reasons. Firstly, it is undeniable that a lot of people learn foreign languages to travel or work abroad. This is because tourism and jobs are relevant to most people's lives, and they often require knowledge of different languages. For example, if a person is going to visit the United States, she needs to know Basic English to avoid having communication issues on her trip and thus may consider taking some English classes beforehand. The same rules apply to work: Most jobs nowadays demand to deal with international people, which turns to master international languages into a mandatory skill. Therefore, it is common to see bilingual employees and travelers. Nevertheless, one might list many more goals for studying another language. The reason for this is that a dialect is not only learned with practical aims. If a person, for instance, has a family which came from another country and remains with strong traditions, he may be obliged to speak one language at home and the local one publically. Additionally, a student may be driven for curiosity and admiration into another culture. Thus, it is clear that many situations can lead to dominating two or more dialects. In conclusion, whereas work and travel are relevant reasons for learning another language, it is my firm belief they are not the only ones as extensive circumstances can demand the same abilities.
There is no doubt studying another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can bring new opportunities for someone.
However
, while
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
that this is exclusively done for tourism or working purposes, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who claim there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more reasons.

Firstly
, it is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to travel or work abroad. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
tourism and jobs are relevant to most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
require knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For example
, if a person is going to visit the United States, she needs to know Basic English to avoid having communication issues on her trip and
thus
may consider taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
English classes beforehand. The same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
apply to work: Most jobs nowadays demand to deal with international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which turns to master international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
into a mandatory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Therefore
, it is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
bilingual employees and travelers.

Nevertheless
, one might list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more goals for studying another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
The reason for this is
that a dialect is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learned with practical aims. If a person,
for instance
, has a family which came from another country and remains with strong traditions, he may
be obliged
to speak one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at home and the local one
publically
.
Additionally
, a student may
be driven
for curiosity and admiration into another culture.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations can lead to dominating two or more dialects.

In conclusion
, whereas work and travel are relevant reasons for learning another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, it is my firm belief they are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones as extensive circumstances can demand the same abilities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never change it later. Support your opinion with relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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