Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. with this statement? v. 5
To facilitate living standard, it is indispensable to establish various kinds of facilities near the neighborhood. Some people believe that the newly-built restaurant would bring lots of benefits to the local whereas others argue with the opposite opinion. In this essay, the benefits and drawbacks of this establishment will be thoroughly discussed below. To begin with, It is fairly easy to understand the reasons why many people dispute the establishment of a restaurant in their nearby region. That is partly because the bothersome to come along with all kinds of pollution. Broadly speaking, during the construction, it would inevitably make the noise, which would interrupt the original tranquil atmosphere. What’s worse, when it comes to opening a business, it sometimes would accompany with the traffic disorder especially at the dining peak hours. In spite of this, the obvious benefits of having a restaurant cannot be denied. Advocates of this construction based their reasons on convenience and economy. First of all, if the restaurant were easily accessible, people would be more likely to go there to dine on account of efficiency. That is because it would be a time-consuming in commuting if they choose a far-away restaurant rather than the nearby one. Moreover, by this way, the peripheral economic development will also be boosted with more consumers flow. In conclusion, there are certainly strong arguments on both sides of this issue. Personally, I am of the conception that the benefits of this construction will outweigh its drawbacks under the consideration of long-term period.
To facilitate living standard, it is indispensable to establish various kinds of facilities near the neighborhood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
newly
-built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
would bring lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the local whereas others argue with the opposite opinion. In this essay, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and drawbacks of this establishment will be
thoroughly
discussed below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is
fairly
easy to understand the reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dispute the establishment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
in their nearby region.
That is
partly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the bothersome to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with all kinds of pollution.
Broadly
speaking, during the construction, it would
inevitably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the noise, which would interrupt the original tranquil atmosphere. What’s worse, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to opening a business, it
The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put between 'would' and 'accompany'.
sometimes would accompany
with the traffic disorder
especially
This is a collocation error. Use "in" for rooms. Revise: "in the dining".
at the dining
peak hours.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, the obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
cannot
be denied
. Advocates of this construction based their reasons on convenience and economy.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
were
easily
accessible,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be more likely to go there to dine on account of efficiency.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be a time-consuming in commuting if they choose a far-away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
rather
than the nearby one.
Moreover
, by this way, the peripheral economic development will
also
be boosted
with more consumers flow.

In conclusion
, there are
certainly
strong arguments on both sides of this issue.
Personally
, I am of the conception that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of this construction will outweigh its drawbacks under the consideration of long-term period.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. with this statement? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts