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Some people are very interested in researching their family history. Other people say this is a waste of time and that we should focus instead on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people are very interested in researching their family history. Other people say this is a waste of time and that we should focus instead on the present and future generations. v. 1
Since time immemorial people have always appeared to be interested in discovering family tree in order to find out hidden facts about the relative connections. However, today there is a debate on the merits of this issue, because certain people think that this procedure is redundant and communities should look forward only. This essay agrees that it is better to know own origin. The essay will discuss that researching family history can confer answers to all questions and that it brings benefits, as well as it will argue that the taken information requires much time and money. A commonly held belief is that organising DNA and family tree tests can answer to questions like what are the causes of such appearance and how could I look like another way. For instance, curious people could find this data the one that broaden the horizons. Furthermore, it is believed that knowing the answers might help the young generation to preserve culture, old traditions and etc. This can be explained by the fact that in the wake of the research on the ancestry, people usually start to be proud of their ancestors as they have faced more tribulations in the last centuries. On the other hand, such an observation of the generations history costs an enormous amount of money as well requires much time. In addition, the research of a family tree can be done only by the qualified centres that are mostly located in big cities. Although there are folks which might discover it by themselves, their researches usually do not amount to much, because of the huge amount of work in tandem with considerable efforts needed. To conclude, there are positive and negative ramifications of organising this arrangement; however, it is featured that research on your own family connections can re-establish links with ancestors. This leads to the conservation of the culture and your identity.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
time immemorial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always appeared to
be interested
in discovering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree in order to find out hidden facts about the relative connections.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
there is a debate on the merits of this issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this procedure is redundant and communities should look forward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that it is better to know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
origin. The essay will discuss that researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
history can confer answers to all questions and that it brings benefits,
as well
as it will argue that the taken information requires much time and money.

A
commonly
held belief is that
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
DNA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
can answer to questions like what are the causes of such appearance and how could I look like another way.
For instance
, curious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could find this data the one that broaden the horizons.
Furthermore
, it
is believed
that knowing the answers might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young generation to preserve culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that in the wake of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on the ancestry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to be proud of their ancestors as they have faced more tribulations in the last centuries.

On the other hand
, such an observation of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "generations'" or "generation's"?
generations
history costs an enormous amount of money
as well
requires much time.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree can
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the qualified
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
that are
mostly
located in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. Although there are folks which might discover it by themselves, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
usually
do not amount to much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge amount of work in tandem with considerable efforts needed.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ramifications of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
this arrangement;
however
, it
is featured
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
connections can re-establish links with ancestors. This leads to the conservation of the culture and your identity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people are very interested in researching their family history. Other people say this is a waste of time and that we should focus instead on the present and future generations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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