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Some people are of the opinion that being highly qualified is the only way to ensure a well-paying job. While others believe that having work experience is the best way to get a well-paying job. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people are of the opinion that being highly qualified is the only way to ensure a well-paying job. While others believe that having work experience is the best way to get a well-paying job. v. 3
Generally, there is a difference of view among people, regarding the good salary job. Some think that highly educated people are qualified for high paying jobs while others have a perception that work experience is necessary for lucrative positions. This essay discusses both the viewpoints. The more a person gets educated the better they can earn, which is the notion of many people nowadays. Hence, there is a heavy competition to obtain a seat in the top colleges and the universities. For instance, a student from IIT will acquire a high remuneration employment because the top companies will have a notion that students from such reputed colleges will improve their business with their skills and knowledge. Whereas, another viewpoint is that people with work experience can receive high income. This is also true, because with work experience they will gain exposure to different technologies, then the demand for such people is automatically more. Indeed, this is not just about earnings, but an added advantage for their career development, recognition, promotion and hikes for a particular employee. In my opinion education is required for securing high wages posts, but I agree with the viewpoint that skills decide the fate of a human working in any place. However, lack of proper skills cannot help a people to establish their careers. Though Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs have dropped out of college, but still successful in building their careers. In conclusion, education is just an entry pass to join an organization, but the excellent work experience and skills help an individual to achieve their goals.
Generally
, there is a difference of view among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
highly
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are qualified
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying jobs while others have a perception that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is necessary for lucrative positions. This essay discusses both the viewpoints.

The more a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
educated the better they can earn, which is the notion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays.
Hence
, there is a heavy competition to obtain a seat in the top colleges and the universities.
For instance
, a student from IIT will acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
remuneration employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will have a notion that students from such reputed colleges will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their business with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and knowledge.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, another viewpoint is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income. This is
also
true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
they will gain exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
technologies, then the demand for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
automatically
more.
Indeed
, this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about earnings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage for their career development, recognition, promotion and hikes for a particular employee.

In my opinion education
is required
for securing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages posts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
decide the fate of a human working in any place.
However
, lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to establish their careers. Though Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs have dropped out of college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
successful in building their careers.

In conclusion
, education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an entry pass to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
an organization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual to achieve their goals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are of the opinion that being highly qualified is the only way to ensure a well-paying job. While others believe that having work experience is the best way to get a well-paying job. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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