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Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries. Others however, believe it is unnecessary because TV and the Internet can give all the same information.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries. Others however, believe it is unnecessary because TV and the Internet can give all the same information. v. 3
With the advancement in technology and cheaper transportation costs, the world is becoming smaller than ever before. There are contrasting views of people on learning about other countries cultures and traditions. Visiting these countries is preferred by some, whereas others are of the opinion that this can be done by the medium of internet and TV. I will delve into both views and would add my comment to them. On one hand is the traditional way of visiting other countries, meeting their natives, experiencing their weather, live through the beauty of the exotic places can help to understand other culture more deeply. For example, no media can explain the uncertainty of Canada’s weather, nor the beauty of Niagra Falls can bw depicted by pictures. Thus, this way is preferred by most of the people. On the other hand, getting into the use of internet is the cost and time effective way of getting information about other countries cultures and their way of living. Technology has also made it easier to connect with people leaving across the borders. To conclude everything that has been stated so far, both the ways have their own advantages which can not be neglected. However, I would go with the former view as I like to meet new people personally and to put myself in their shoes is the best way to get to know them, I think.
With the advancement in technology and cheaper transportation costs, the world is becoming smaller than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. There are contrasting views of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cultures and traditions. Visiting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is preferred
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, whereas others are of the opinion that this can
be done
by the medium of internet and TV. I will delve into both views and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
my comment to them.

On one hand is the traditional way of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, meeting their natives, experiencing their weather,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
through the beauty of the exotic places can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
culture more
deeply
.
For example
, no media can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the uncertainty of Canada’s weather, nor the beauty of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Niagra
Falls can
Possible spelling mistake found.
bw
depicted by pictures.
Thus
, this way
is preferred
by most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, getting into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet is the cost and time effective way of getting information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cultures and their way of living. Technology has
also
made it easier to connect with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
leaving across the borders.

To conclude
everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, both the ways have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages which can not
be neglected
.
However
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the former view as I like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
personally
and to put myself in their shoes is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know them, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries. Others however, believe it is unnecessary because TV and the Internet can give all the same information.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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