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Some people make new friends on social sites and Internet chat rooms. Some people think it is a good thing. Some people think it is better to make friends face to face. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people make new friends on social sites and Internet chat rooms. Some people think it is a good thing. Some people think it is better to make friends face to face. 1
People talk to others over social networking sites and develop friendship with them. In my opinion, it is a good thing as it helps in creating bigger network and greater availability of friends than face to face circle but there are disadvantages too. Firstly, You get to know people of different fields on the Internet and by making them friends, you add diversity to your friend’s circle; because, in person, you generally meet folks of your related fields only. When your friends works in different departments, you gain basic knowledge of their services too, and this can be beneficial sometime, for instance, in case of recession in one field you may ask your friends to refer you in their organization. Secondly, meeting friends over Skype or another social channel is hassle free, as it does not require to travel or visit anywhere and you can see your friends whenever you want, without visiting them personally. Admittedly, Networking sites have proven harmful too sometime. Sometimes people do friendship with strangers and then they start sharing their every detail with them, such people blackmails them sometimes and may demand money, Honeytrap is one example of such type of friendship so one should be very careful before sharing any confidential data with unknown folks over social media. In contrary, when you make friends after meeting them personally, there are chances of great bond between people as people easily understand each other opinions when your talk is not virtual. In conclusion, it is good to make friends over social networking sites, but we should be very careful while choosing whom to talk and what to share.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
talk to others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites and develop friendship with them. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in creating bigger network and greater availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
than face to face circle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are disadvantages too.

Firstly
, You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields on the Internet and by making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
diversity to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend’s
circle;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in person, you
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
folks of your related fields
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. When your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
departments, you gain basic knowledge of their services too, and this can be beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometime
,
for instance
, in case of recession in one field you may ask your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to refer you in their organization.
Secondly
, meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
Skype or another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
channel is hassle free, as it does not require
Did you mean "traveling", "travelling"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to travel
or visit anywhere and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
whenever you want, without visiting them
personally
.

Admittedly
, Networking sites have proven harmful too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do friendship with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
strangers and
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
sharing their every detail with them, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
blackmails
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
and may demand money,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Honeytrap
is one example of such type of friendship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sharing any confidential data with unknown folks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media. In contrary, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
after meeting them
personally
, there are chances of great bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
understand each other opinions when your talk is not virtual.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful while choosing whom to talk and what to share.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people make new friends on social sites and Internet chat rooms. Some people think it is a good thing. Some people think it is better to make friends face to face. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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