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Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in their life time. Discuss both the views. v.2

Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in their life time. v. 2
It is irrefutable that people have become more conscious about their living ambience. Number of individuals are more content with staying at one place throughout their life, whereas, others prefer to explore various places and surroundings. This essay will elucidate both the views so that a plausible conclusion can be formed. To begin with, commuting from one place to another is beneficial for professional careers. Moreover, people will move for their better earnings and living. For example, south India is the hub of IT professionals and hence, people need to commute to south region because there are better opportunities than northern region. If people do not commute, they end up living a monotonous life, which can affect their mental and physical ell-being. In addition, an effective way to learn about different cultures and surroundings. Furthermore, it helps people understand the moral values, ethics and beliefs of other traditions. Thus, it is a positive development of an individual and society. On the other hand, people resist themselves to shift to new places because of their bond with the neighbours. Moreover, they are emotionally attached to people nearby and does not agree to leave the place. Also, they are ready to stand for each other in any condition. Next, people become familiar with everything available around such as stores, schools, hospitals etc. Hence, they do not have to make any efforts to reach out to basic things. Thus, this is a good approach for our elders because their children live away from families in order to make their careers. In conclusion, people can live in one place and grow a strong bond which is advantageous for the community while others can go to different places as per their jobs to earn bread and butter.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more conscious about their living ambience. Number of individuals are more content with staying at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
throughout their life, whereas, others prefer to explore various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and surroundings. This essay will elucidate both the views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a plausible conclusion can
be formed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, commuting from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another is beneficial for professional careers.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
for their better earnings and living.
For example
, south India is the hub of IT professionals and
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to commute to south region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are better opportunities than northern region. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not commute, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up living a monotonous life, which can affect their mental and physical ell-being.
In addition
, an effective way to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and surroundings.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the moral values, ethics and beliefs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
traditions.
Thus
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of an individual and society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
resist themselves to shift to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their bond with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
Moreover
, they are
emotionally
attached to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nearby and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Also
, they are ready to stand for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in any condition.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become familiar with everything available around such as stores, schools, hospitals etc.
Hence
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any efforts to reach out to basic things.
Thus
, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach for our elders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
away from families in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their careers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and grow a strong bond which is advantageous for the community while others can go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as per their jobs to earn bread and butter.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in their life time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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