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Some peolpe think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of university? v.1

Some peolpe think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of university? v. 1
Universities provide a large amount of diversity in their education system. Some try to gain the particular knowledge and skills which will help them to grow in their workplace, but some believe that diversified knowledge can open their way to lot of opportunities. This essay will describe the views on both kinds of people and my views on the functioning of the university. Gaining knowledge and skills in a particular subject helps to finish the work in a very limited amount of time. As we focus more on a single topic, we go deep into that subject which helps us to know all kinds of pros and cons related to that particular work. For example, according to a research, 96% of the IT companies in Bangalore tends to hire people with minimum two years of experience because they hire them for a particular work in a project. So being skilful in a field help them do a work in a very less time and with a great quality output. University is made to educate students and provide them a degree, so people must be given access to whatever knowledge they choose to gain. Not only the education but the degree given by the University opens up a lot of opportunities to move ahead in the future. For example, according to a research, ninety percent of the B. Tech students in India, regardless of their specialization, end up working in an IT industry and then find themselves suitable to go for MBA. So regardless of the future aspects, knowledge must be accessible to everyone on their own choice. I believe, the University should give access to all kinds of knowledge to everyone. It is the choice of the people how they would like to use the knowledge gained. If they want to work on it, they will be fruitful in their workplace. And for those who want to seek all kinds of opportunity, it will be helpful for them as well. Knowledge is meant to be gained, and it should not be restricted by any means.
Universities provide a large amount of diversity in their education system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
try to gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to grow in their workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that diversified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can open their way to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
opportunities. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the views on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and my views on the functioning of the university.

Gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to finish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited amount of time. As we focus more on a single topic, we go deep into that subject which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to know all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of pros and cons related to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, according to a research, 96% of the IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Bangalore tends to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with minimum two years of experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they hire them for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a project.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
being
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
in a field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less time and with a great quality output.

University
is made
to educate students and provide them a degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
access to whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
they choose to gain. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the University opens up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead in the future.
For example
, according to a research, ninety percent of the B. Tech students in India, regardless of their specialization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up working in an IT industry and then find themselves suitable to go for MBA.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
regardless of the future aspects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accessible to everyone on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice.

I believe, the University should give access to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to everyone. It is the choice of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how they would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained. If they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on it, they will be fruitful in their workplace. And for those who want to seek all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of opportunity, it will be helpful for them
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is meant
to
be gained
, and it should not
be restricted
by any means.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some peolpe think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of university? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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