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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars? v.10

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars? v. 10
Transportation is very essential for commuters to travel from one place to another. Nowadays, owning a automobile is very common for commuters who lives in the city. Thirty years ago, owning a motor was possible only for rich people, but currently we can clearly see the flourish improvement in buying new cars. Some people concern that it might create more transportation issues, whereas other opinion that regime should bring some restriction to minimise the usage of own cars. To begin with, a three-decades years ago, the people who had power could have own cars to show their status in the community. But the current trend has completely changed, even the average salary holder could buy an automobile in the method of EMI (an equated monthly instalment). Moreover, the company has offered various discounts and people can easily afford to buy a car at cheap price. Because of that, people should have more and more cars in their showcase so it causes considerable damage to the nation in the way of traffic jam. For example, if the company has offered half price on a car, the buying of cars should be more and more and most people are started avoiding government transport, they would like to use own cars it causes a massive transportation problems in the community. On the contrary, ministry should bring a massive restriction to control over traffic problems at the same time they have to focus on the innovative ideas to attract commuters' attention. Because if the government provides a free bus - pass to every citizen, it would have possibility to grab people's attention towards state transportation. For example, if the authority to increase the toll charges as well as petrol, it will have a chance to reduce the usage of own cars. In conclusion, it is true that nowadays the usage of cars is getting more and more so it creates a massive problem in the community, although it has the possibility to control over the problems as power should take certain steps to overcome these issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transportation
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for commuters to travel from one place to another. Nowadays, owning
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
automobile is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for commuters who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'commuters' should be used.
lives
in the city. Thirty years ago, owning a motor was possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
currently
we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the flourish improvement in buying new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concern that it might create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
issues, whereas other opinion that regime should bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restriction to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the usage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a three-decades years ago, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had power could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status in the community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, even the average salary holder could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an automobile in the method of EMI (an equated monthly
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalment' is British English.
instalment
).
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has offered various discounts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in their showcase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it causes considerable damage to the nation in the way of traffic jam.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has offered half price on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, the buying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should be more and more and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
avoiding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
transport, they would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
it causes a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the community.

On the contrary
, ministry should bring a massive restriction to control over traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
at the same time they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on the innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to attract commuters' attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides a free bus
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
pass to every citizen, it would have possibility to grab
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention towards state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
For example
, if the authority to increase the toll charges
as well
as petrol, it will have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars.

In conclusion
, it is true that nowadays the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is getting more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it creates a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the community, although it has the possibility to control over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as power should take certain steps to overcome these issues.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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